Of course he does and he keeps fucking that chicken every day.

4 hour playlists!? Lucky fucks. The store I worked at in the mall had no music so it was just the music and ads played on the jumbotrons hanging from the concourse ceiling. There was only about 20 minutes of content that would be played months at a time and the music would only be like a 30 second clip of the most…

Few can resist the charm of Walhberg's looking and acting like he was born with fetal alcohol syndrome schtick.

They also had to film the outdoor scenes in one day because a porn production company had booked the back yard for the next day.

"In the midst of all the killing and skin eating, somehow we forgot about the love."

Don't worry Mitch McConnell is assuring constituents that the tire irons used to stave in the skulls of the sick uninsured will be sterilized individual use medical tire irons.

Let's not forget his original hilarious excuse of "I was just going to talk to her about the poor orphan children wanting adoptions. Won't somebody please think of the children!" Because when you think of someone who loves shooting endangered animals at point blank range with high powered sniper rifles you naturally…

I'd pay anything to end my miserable loneliness. If only I weren't so desperately poor…

Oui 2 Entertainment is coincidentally the name of the high class French prostitute escort service I was thinking of setting.

And to think she got here all on her own merit with just grit and hard work! Just like Donald Trump or Jared Kushner.

What company make the burner phones that you buy at convenience stores that drug dealers use. I would assume they'd make the best rap albums.

Aww, man, 7000 comments with only 6000 up votes but blocked! You just know there's an incredible wealth of hilarious insanity and inanity there that we don't get to enjoy!

No, but some lies about the Disneyland Hall of Presidents does seem to be about as complex a lie Trump and his cadre could formulate, all while thinking they are the smartest political operators ever.

Yes, except instead of tossing a football from robotic hand to hand it will be a human skull.

The thought of getting a stream of death threats (I just assume sports writers do, because, well, look at this country) for every article you write isn't appealing?

Was Earhart taken prisoner by the Japanese when she discovered they were unearthing ancient alien technology in the South Pacific? Almost certainly yes says this Devry Online professor of bookkeeping and medical records management!

And don't even get 50 started on John Cage's 4'33.

I'm also pretty sure the "I know who you are!" was preceded by Morrisey screaming, "Do you know who I am!?"

I know someone else with a golf ball sized brain tumor that should step down from their job. He shouldn't be given the dignity of surgery to remove it though.

Except in your version Charles S. Dutton was the main character, Roc, who had been launched several hundred years in the future to another planet from a mix-up with his garbage truck/time machine.