As a feminist I certainly would have taken a seat on a lifeboat and given a woman the equal opportunity to freeze to death in the North Atlantic.

Rogue One unfortunately seemed to demonstrate they don't even need characters or a plot to continue to make boatloads of money.

For my next trick I'll turn this series of heinous rapes into consensual encounters.

1. Acquire a computer with solar powered battery.
2. Fill hard drive with pornography.
3. Wait for most of humanity to be wiped out by plague, nuclear war, etc.
4. Enjoy.

They should've retooled and made the dog a German Shepherd with very particular ideas about Jews.

Donald Trump Jr. Is the source of severed human feet that keep turning up in Puget Sound.

He should've blamed being high on meth or oxy. Trump voters would've understood that.

It's one of the few appropriate times to say you miss Hitler.

Next up on the newswire, Tupac reveals he faked his own death and sues the filmmakers for defamation.

Enough of your borax, poindexter!

I think they actually had a bunch of hits in the UK, but only one in the US, but I love the maudlin sentimentality of "Hold Me Now" by The Thompson Twins.

I'm taking it extremely seriously. That's why I'm lobbying my Republican senator to not vote for the bill unless it includes a provision that hospitals and ERs can deny service to those without insurance that can't provide a credit card or cash upfront. If this is the way the "party of personal responsibility" wants…

Let's just use this as a chance to be thankful Scalia is dead:

That was part of the problem the "critic" had with the novel was that there were minority characters, but they were in jobs that in actual life in Manhattan are filled by minorities, doormen and social workers (strangely there was no critique of the two Russian characters who were stereotypically defined as…

You should've responded to him with a gif of Ripley in an exosuit and the caption, "Stay away from her, you bitch."

Don't forget the constant masturbation.

The DCU was never beloved.

As long as the elf's catchphrase is, "Green elf needs food badly!"

I was never forced to take my younger sisters to any movies which is probably just as well. I remember a friend's mother being extremely angry at us when we took his 8 year old little brother to see Blade 3.

I remember in grade school where someone turned an apple into a weapon by throwing it at someone's head at full force. Fact or fiction? Try it on an unsuspecting coworker to find out!