When refusing to give loyalty it's traditional to grab your crotch and yell, "I got your fuckin' fealty right here."

Go to CNN or NBC's websites, they're already saying that.

Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself.

This article gives a pretty good run down. Short answer: the communists don't want people thinking ghosts are real.

I'd like to see a Terminator and Cars shared universe where they explain how the genocidal Skynet robots eventually evolved into the wisecracking vehicles after wiping out the last of humanity.

The Chinese censors apparently greatly dislike non-Chinese supernatural elements so in China the unmentionable horror sealed away by her family will be translated as Tiffany Trump.

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My cat's breath smells like cat food.

Designate anything you want as historic, baby boomers, like spiteful Pharaohs with an insane predecessor we plan to obliterate all trace of your existence from the world the first chance we get.

I'm a Dapper Dan man!

The Red Wedding skit will all be worth it for the heart rending wail Bert lets out as he slits Abby's throat after Lord Elmo has Ernie killed.

I worked in a leather dying factory one summer during college and the only thing more depressing than the job was the fact that for the other workers this was probably the best paying job they could possibly hope for (it was shitty non-skilled work except for a handful of people). A couple were shiftless assholes,…

Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies!? For fun!? Well I didn't hear anybody laughing!

I'm going to go out on a limb based on experience with other insane Republican women and assume she's utterly depraved in the bedroom.

Not only that they had to listen to electronic club music right before they died. Talk about a horrific way to go.

You asked a general question, I gave a response that fit all your criteria. If you don't like it ignore it, but your flippant response is inappropriate.

As to c., see every country west of Germany that the Nazis invaded.

Not that PSU didn't deserve to be punished profusely, but one fucked up thing the NCAA did was strip scholarships from current students to penalize the school. I fail to see how harming current students who were themselves children when the malfeasance occurred was fair. It would've been one thing to not give out…

The AV Club's review of Prometheus said it was actually an example of 3D done effectively so I sprung for the 3D showing. It looked awful and I've never seen another film in 3D and never will.

The only thing better would've been it and every other superhero movie for the rest of the year tanking so that they stop fucking making them.

Only 18 more years of living there and not paying rent and his adverse possession rights will vest and he'll own the property outright.