Jots down notes for new porn parody.

He's clearly been using Kramer's suntanning with butter technique so he also smells delicious too.

All car commercials are irritating though none match my vitriol for the industry's holiday commercials, especially the European luxury car companies—surprise your spouse with an $80k sedan for Christmas! Either you've put your family into needless debt or you're a rich asshole where spending that much money on a gift…

"Sir, for the final time please stop using profanity or we're going to have to ask you to leave the set."

And now we know what car commercials would sound like if Trump wrote ad copy for a living.

Is it the explanation why there's so much spitting in porn nowadays?

Everything I know of Pence leads me to believe that such a comment would most likely end with him punching her in the stomach and then dragging her by the hair to the punishment closet for a couple days.

Nah, divorce is her best option. I'd guess there's a pretty good chance that she doesn't get a penny in his will.

Face looks too thin to be Trumps though I hear the penis extends to a lifelike two inches.

Hey! We're not all perv—

He cooks them like that for the same reason he wears expensive suits that are grossly ill-fitting or brags about his Ivy League MBA but speaks like a Staten Island garbage man that didn't finish junior high, because he's a vulgar piece of human garbage that thinks worth is solely a product of how much was paid for it…

Yeah, kinda exactly like every fucking funeral and memorial service I've ever been to.

Sophia: It's all about this cooze who's a regular fuck machine, I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon: dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.

This is easy. If he's actually innocent and actually has the documentation he claims he should just sue her for defamation and Jezebel for libel. If he loses everybody knows he's a rapist, if he wins we get rid of Jezebel. It's a win/win situation for the public.

From the "Ken Burns's Baseball" series review: "The first few segments of this seemed technically sufficient to qualify as a documentary and did indeed discuss baseball. Episodes Viewed for Review: First 15 minutes of 1,080."

Kind of strange about the hate on here about it then as that also sounds exactly like a description of the Scott Pilgrim movie which I thought was terrible but seems to be beloved around here.

Don't be absurd, machetes are a hacking not stabbing weapon.

She's just jealous of Ivanka because Trump never took the time sexually abuse her as a young girl.

Well that wouldn't have to if Apple would quit "upgrading" their power converter ports every other year!

Well he could always up the damages by including the $20 for the handjob he had to get from a prostitute after she violated first date etiquette and didn't provide it in the theater.