They would have had to try to keep one-upping former contestants going from "Sharts hysterically when laughing," to "Has chronic, uncontrollable diarrhea," to, eventually, "Dying of stage IV colon cancer."

Unfortunately, due to the opioid epidemic I assume 90% of them are dead.

Sounds like you need a sickly sweet overpriced cocktail made with a fine Diageo product.

Well I'm sure these masks won't turn up in some truly deeply fucked up porn in the very near future.

We also wound have accepted The Poonhound of the Baskervilles.

After binging Casting JonBenet he's actually hanging around the locker room at the Miss Pre-Teen Pageant.

Wow it's gotten even worse? I only saw bits and pieces of the 1st couple seasons while my wife was watching it but even then the effects looked bad enough that I thought even Syfy would be embarrassed to use them.

But after he got those tear drop tattoos from his cheek I could never remember how many people he'd killed.

Val: I think I'm going to be sick.

Run up stairs? I think a brisk walk will take you out of danger even without the stairs.

Both inside and out. I even have a vivisection table set up in my basement to prove the former.

He's the same variety of Christian almost all the white, male GOP members are, the "everything I say and do is right and even if it isn't God will forgive me and everyone who doesn't agree with me is going to burn in hell for all eternity anyway so fuck 'em" variety.

Nah, I just thought it was a germane anecdote.

"[Diogenes] was one day asked where he chose to be buried after his death? He replied: "In an open field." "How!" said one, "are you not afraid of becoming food for birds of prey and wild beasts?" "Then I must have my stick beside me," said Diogenes, "to drive them away when they come." "But," resumed the other, "you…

I hope you refer to it as your Tron Rod.

Well considering his ridiculously misinformed views about net neutrality at least he puts the lie to the stereotype that all people of Indian descent know a lot about computers.

[HiiiPoWer discreetly pushes captive bolt stunner and air tank under desk with foot]

I believe a group of Russian hookers is referred to as a matryoshka.

Exactly, it's more like sociopathic parents making their children fight for their amusement and less like the Roman Coliseum.

They were actually genetically engineered living creatures. As soon as that one was out of sight they used a cattle bolt air gun like No Country For Old Men on its temple.