You should show her the It's Always Sunny abortion episode next.

Wow! There is no way Mark Davis is not using those 1000 mile trips to the barber to murder teen hitch hikers and sexually brutalize their corpses. He literally sounds exactly like a serial killer from Hannibal.

It's never been the same since Guiliani made them remove the pay per minute porn TVs from every table.

Speaking of which, why doesn't whoever cuts his hair thrown in an eye brow trim. He's the type of moron that probably spends hundreds on a haircut, you'd think they'd fix those fucking things.

Spoiler: it's the shape of whatever container you put it in.

If you just assume that all of these characters are secretly in the sex industry, having anonymous sex with fat out of town business men at night, getting paid extra to perform sick, dangerous sex acts, then their nice apartments become a lot more realistic.

[toilet flushing sound, Hegel steps out of bathroom, hitching up breeches]

I can't understand a word you Australians say.

I finally saw Rogue One. It was very nice looking but pretty forgettable overall I found. I would've much rather watched a space road trip movie with the blind monk and his buddy and tossed the rest of the script.

Did the package have a picture of a middle age man sobbing with his head in his hands at a kitchen table in front of a package of the butter with the same picture on it?

I prefer I Can't Believe It's Made Of A Bovine Bodily Fluid!

I remember when the professors of Hitler Studies and Elvis Studies in Delillo's White Noise were supposed to be an absurdist joke.

Yeah I was pleasantly surprised by him in it as I'd only seen him in Superman. It made me hate Zach Snyder even more as it showed Superman didn't have to be a dour, charmless bore.

As long as they have the Night's King resurrect a zombie dragon out of the ice to fight Danyeres' dragons I'm sure the ending will be fine.

Massive Ordnance Penetrator!? They stole my penis name!

Cinnamon whiskey!? Thanks, but I'll stick with my toilet wine!

Do you ever drive them around to karate studios and make them go in and yell, "Where is the master of this dojo!"

And there was going to be more. Originally the jewel was going to be two sapphires stuck together called The Tits of the Ocean.

Singlehandedly?! Global political establishment!? You're hilarious, kid, thanks for the laughs.

All I know is that women hate spjut when you get in in their hair.