I totally read this as Mario Batali.

My day is always brighter with a little Office Space... thank you.

I will always root for BritBrit. I find it impossible to get behind Linds.

Sorry, i meant Whataburger...

This is Jack the Shih-tzu. He kicks ass. He is riding shotgun on the Waterburger run.

All my money is still on Baylor sucking.

I was coming here to post exactly this... even I have my clothes tailored to fit - and I am definitely not a gazillion-aire. #tailorsmatter

That gif is everything

I have already made reservations for a champagne brunch and then off to a viewing (with more Bolly) and then rehab. Sweetie darling this is going to be GOLD!

I consider Brad Pitt one of the most interesting people in the world. I know little about Rihanna, but she looks like she does not give a fuck, so I am totally there...

And he is super busy and would leave you the fuck alone... where do i sign up?

Can i go on this vaca with you? I will buy all the wine and be a good listener. Promise.

Between Taylor Swift and Pokemon Go and Donald Trump, I would like to get off the planet please. Thanks.

I too am a drunk Aunt, and I co-sign. Where is my niece with WINE???

Stars, stars and more stars!!! 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

I-35 is the wooooooooooooooooooorst

Thank the gods the gummy bears were sold out. Gummy bears are a Cylon conspiracy to fuck up my diet.

Thank the gods the gummy bears were sold out. Gummy bears are a Cylon conspiracy to fuck up my diet.

Thank you for posting this quote, i need to remember it more often. I tend to give assclowns too many 2nd and 3rd chances to prove how truly fucked up they are...

Thank you!

Thank you!

It is a tv.

It is a tv.