Sorry, Philly. Swimming has now been outlawed in your trash receptacle of a city.

Yeah! Fuck equality!

The vocal fry doesn’t get to me, but the heavy Chicago accents drive me into a frenzy!

This seems like one of those issues where dogmatism dictates that “no true liberal” can admit that there is a bit of truth to the opinion that Hillary’s voice is offputting. For that reason, I won’t posit that every time I hear Hillary shout that it brings me back to when I was a kid and my mom would tell me to take…

I like the Puerto Rican version of Capri Sun.

Say, for instance, there were a douchebag congressman who likes to vape. Would there be any way to make sure his e-cig explodes in his face? I mean, not enough to hurt him, but enough to make him shit his pants in front of everyone.

Exactly. You can’t condemn a man for describing a rape as “gettin’ some action”. That would be like condemning Cosby for “just havin’ some drinks”.

I’m offended by the objectification of women and furtherence of the cis-gendered, heterosexual, male conception of what is considered attractive.

I used to take my Volvos over to European Motor Werks on Sutherland, and they did good honest work.

Meh. Content was weak and petulant. Would not read again.

Mainlanders.

The old saying goes, “If you lie down with Dawgs, you get fees.”

Fill the bottle a little less than a third full. Underhandedly flip it such that the liquid stays in the base and you’ve done. I literally just did it sitting here at work. I can also make a Coke can teeter on its edge. Whoopdie doo!

When she gets excited she sounds like a pterodactyl.

This may be my favorite thing I’ve ever read on the internet. The sanctimoniousness of this is just too funny.

I get it! She has dementia and was a college coach for a completely different sport. The joke was a hell of a stretch, but totally worth it.

This was a great story. I’m not sure why the misandrist angle was necessary for clickbait.

A bystander with a holstered gun enters the scen at 1:39. It looks like he is trying to calm everybody down, though.

Hush puppies? HUSH PUPPIES!? Seriously, hush puppies at #1. Wait ‘til I tell the fellers about this one! Yankees, am I right!?

This was a breathtakingly long article that could have been condensed into four paragraphs or not written at all. Good job!