That's really good; it does almost sound like someone preparing to set himself on fire. There's that staticky pulsing heartbeat-like synth running underneath the whole thing, and the guitar in the verses is literally "noodly riff CLANNGG" - I mean, I don't even think that's a chord at the end there, I think Buck just…

Your description of it is aces. It's such a woozy, bizarre, angular record. There's just something so fundamentally off about it, even down to the hideous orange-and-blue color scheme and the bear head w/death stare cover art (and I think the limited edition CD had the bear's headless body as the cover art.) Even…

I don't particularly like either of those things, and I couldn't agree more.

Fuck you, Florida.

Right? I mean, even if that was a legitimate concern, which it absolutely isn't, of course, Hillary Clinton is 69 goddamn years old.

I feel I can admit this to you, Whoates - I unironically love Metal Machine Music. I don't listen to it very often, but sometimes it just hits the fucking spot.

I wouldn't go that far, personally, but it's far from "shit". (I'm in the camp that says they only made one bad record.)

Yeah, I like that very much.

O'Neal's conspicuous absence makes me think that he views this, correctly, as a waste of whiskey.

Tony Bennett's is awesome, because Tony Bennett is awesome. But it's basically just a televised, intimate Tony Bennett concert.

Jesus Christ, dude, you need combat pay.

Depression so severe that you wind up sticking a shotgun in your mouth and pulling the trigger is a form of dying.

It had already been out for a year and a half by the time I finally "got it", so to speak, but yeah: my appreciation of music, to this day, is divided into pre-Nirvana and post-Nirvana.

Their bath towels?

Amazing, isn't it, how that one little punctuation mark increased the poignancy about fivefold? I got a little teary, too, and that almost never happens.

Also, it's the story of a terminally ill five-year-old dying in what amounts to a total stranger's arms seconds after having a coherent conversation with him. I thankfully don't know what it's like to watch someone die, but I'm going to guess it's not quite that clean and cinematic.

Right? I just wish I wanted some National swag.

"I'm mostly into nekkid women and booze, Alex."

First I've heard of it.

That's about #319 on the list of things fucked up about America. No offense, but we've got bigger knives to sharpen.