Straight Outta Christchurch

It’s 8:40 now. I’m on my third drink

It won’t. It’s a highly entertaining account of the nihilistic nonsense that went/goes on, but if they’re still a supporter, there’s nothing so undeniably awful that they wouldn’t be able to do mental pretzels around and claim as either librul fake news or signs Trump is the best leader since Jesus

Oddly enough, the Space Needle is shaped exactly like Bezos’ penis

Ugh, I miss the days when angry white guys would just make shitty rap-metal, instead of trying to attack the legal system. Can we institute a program where we give turntables to idiots before they start writing failed Shakespeare raps and then try to break democracy, because no one would give them something else to…

She’s only thirteen years old! And she’s going to blow the bloody doors off these mysteries!

Frankly, I’m always a little surprised he finishes a sentence, instead of just mumbling, stopping, and wandering off

*Barron Trump angrily tweets wookietim’s address*

Aw man, this is totally gonna distract him from those Fake News Awards he was totally going to do!

Fine, would it have been better if the house smelled like old Astroglide, fresh diapers, and Kimmy’s feet?

“No, seriously, cut..it..out! It smells like old Astroglide & fresh diapers in this fuller fucking house!”

TV On The Radio Plays Television’s Marquee Moon!

This explains why we don’t see Bob Saget all that much. It was supposed to be Fuller Fucking House

In a few years, we’ll probably be seeing the Strokes play Is This It In its entirety as a 20-year-anniversary tour

I know, right? Why aren’t we mocking the continuation of Eminem’s “Disappointing Festival Headliner” tour?

At the ceremony, the nominees will be wearing black in support of the far more grammatically proper #MyselfAsWell movement

That question could also have ended after the first four words

I genuinely believe that, but I also genuinely believed that about Trump in 2015, and here we are. No harm in seeing what they’re up to

The State Dept (under Clinton) pushed to cut Haiti’s minimum wage, mainly to protect American business interests there. There’s no proof Clinton wanted this, but she also didn’t speak out against it.

Kinja has pillows for your spine! Kinja has deals on Orange Crush!