Seeing that second video really drives home how bad of a dancer Miley Cyrus is.

THANK YOU. Listen, I am no expert, but every single thing I could find confirmed that was not twerking.

Ahhh! Thanks. Derp. I thought maybe it had something to do specifically with weddings. I even went on urban dictionary and found something about wrestling.

What does MFer stand for?

"glacier runoff"

HE decided not to touch her? Fuck. I assumed that maybe it was because she felt so insecure about the surgery that she maybe didn't want to be touched. That isn't love. I can't imagine my future husband going through cancer, going through a horrific surgery, and not cuddling him forever. I would be so happy he was…

I feel bad for her. She probably needed the money.

Oh HI.

If this is just vanilla, I am very, very disappointed.

Right, because "that's the way we've always done it" is such a good argument for anything.

Your poor grandmother :(.

Ugh. Yeah. And then we'll realize exactly how the kid got to be such an asshole. Asshole parents.

*head desk*

Oh my god! I've gotten that line twice. Dude, either way, I'm trying to politely turn you down.

Jessica Williams is national fucking treasure. I hope she gets her own show one day.

300 a day for the first trimester (for a woman of healthy weight to start out with) is what an OBGYN told me. After doing some research online, I guess there are a lot of slightly different answers, but this is this lowest from a reliable source:

Wow. Do you realize how dangerous pregnancy is? Your complete lack of knowledge around the subject is astounding.

300 a day for the first trimester.

Sometimes, a relationship is that stable.

You got a good one. :)