…..

What the Republicans call Obama has little to do with his actual beliefs or accomplishments and has everything to do with his skin color.   Granted Republicans hate any Democrat but with Obama there is a lot more.   They never claimed Bill Clinton was born in Kenya.  

Please name a Republican politician who isn't an evil bigot or the pawn of the rich.

Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos.

Ok grandpa.  I'm sure Johnny Carson was funny back when you didn't have indoor plumbing but Conan O'Brien wrote "Marge vs The Monorail."    Johnny Carson has never ever done anything half as funny as that. 

Jon put Code Pink on the same level as Glen Beck because he wanted to pretend both sides are equal when he knows they are not.  Code Pink is an anti-war group motivated by politics.   Glen Beck is a con man motivated by greed.  If Jon Stewart thinks they are the same he is an idiot.

DiPaolo is funny if you find obnoxious people who stay stupid things funny.

I dated a Libertarian once.  She called me a moocher and said I hated trains.

I had an ex.  She told me a story about going on a date with a guy.  On the first date they were making small talk and the conversation ran dry.  He broke the ice with the question "Are you pro life or pro death?"   She somehow never went on a second date with the guy. 

I would never date a Republican.

I know him as Sgt. Fatso Judson.

You kids may remember him as Sgt. Fatso Judson in "From Here to Eternity"

That's not weird, that's hipster silliness.  I live next door to Wisconsin.  Recently they had a guy arrested for fucking a couch in the middle of the street. 

I love fartz and bonerz.

If this show is aimed at the AV Club it needs more Simpsons quotes and Zodiac Motherfucker.

I hope Canada sends one of their elite Mountie assassins to kill you.

Here I am all dressed in snakeskin
Now I'm in you kitchen making love to your cake tin
Oh no is this the one your baking
I told you I was freaky did you think that i was faking

Dethklok should show up and kill everyone.

Timberwolves are fucking stupid.  They play Dante Cunningham 35 minutes a night and Derrick Williams 15.  I'm not saying they would win many more games with D Will but if you don't want to see what the #2 overall pick can do you are an idiot franchise.

If you can't get better commercials than that I'm not going to watch.  It looks horrible.