I like to think if Chris Farley had lived he would have a great story about shitting his pants at The White House.

Atlas Shrugged is a shoo in for worst screenplay.  Ayn Rand's famous line "WHY DO LIBTARDS HATE TRAINS AND FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!ARGGGGHHHHHH FAGZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!WTF IS GALT"    Never even appears in the movie.  What a butcher job on a masterpiece of a book. 

Rush Limbaugh is your cousin?

I'm just glad a movie was finally able to shed light on the problems with black people riding horses.  I'm Tea Party Congressman Whitey Bryant from the great state of Mississippi and I promise to do something about this issue in the upcoming congressional session.  Please support my efforts with a donation to my…

Here here!!!  I now call for a collective ranking of Tarantino movies. What say you comrades?

I agree with these guys.  Slavery should never be talked about or reflected upon by artists.

Ach! Das wagen phone ist ein… nuisance phone!

and thus evolution was proved a foul unGodly lie.   Hope you like being in hell with Hitler and Marie Curie; Charles Darwin!!   (Marie Curie had an abortion.) 

I have AIDS.

I would say its worth it.  Some of the cameos are funny.  It's no better than average but it has a pretty good cast that can get humor out of lame jokes.   I don't get the Ricky G hate.  He's not the best but we live in a world where Charlie Sheen gets to make 100 episodes of Anger Management.   Give him a little…

What?  You don't like seeing Muslims getting punched or something?

"That sounds like terrorist talk Yee Yee.  How'd you like a punch in your smart Muslim mouth from Batman."  -Frank Miller

You know who would make a great Godzilla?  Oprah!  She needs a comeback baby and I just watched The Color Purple.   Godzilla could pee. 

I hope some badass snake bit him.

My best comedy show ever:  Mitch Hedberg opening, Dave Attell middleman, Louis Black closing.   Y'all got served.

Big deal.  I left a floater in the Queen's bathroom when I was knighted for saving those stupid orphans.  

Loved your first album Professor Murder.

McConaughey simply dances erotically for 2 hours.  Gay or straight.  Man or woman.  It will be the greatest thing you've ever fucking seen. 

Babe was the best picture that year.   "That will do pig" makes me cry every time.

Paper Planes is still a fine song and she will forever be loved by me for it.