She always sounds so tired when she practices talking. Like she wants to take a nap.

Stop trying to make Suki Waterhouse happen. It's not going to happen.

Hahahaha I have one of these w my partner and at some point I was like oh he there isn't a thing between the two of them, I AM THE ONE WHO HAS A CRUSH ON HER. I have felt less prickly since then.

I'm not really a jealous person. My husband has a LOT of friends that are women, and over the years, there's only really been one that I haven't been okay with—but that wasn't because I was jealous of her, it was because she was an asshole.

Yeah, mine said he would take care of me too! Dbags.

Pink Floyd should literally sue this person's balls off.

Wait, what's going here? They didn't explain this to me in sex ed.

jesus fucking christ, Mark

I had a first date last night. Should I send this article to him?

HEY Y'ALL

I'm very tempted to do the same with my boyfriend (of two months). Bwahahaha.

My boyfriend is dragging his heels about moving in with me, regardless of the fact he's not left my house in four. months. He's literally paying storage at his old apartment.

I sent this link to my boyfriend on gchat and said "I can't wait to see what tonight holds!!!!!!!!!!" He still hasn't responded...sometimes he's not as amused by my humor as I am.

My husband and I got engaged while hiking in RMNP. We then got married in Bootleg Canyon in Nevada, premiere downhill mountain biking. The ceremony was officiated, we got suited up and then we bombed that fucking hill like pros. (Not really, I slid on my ass pulling my bike behind me most of the way because we were…

I wonder what the Beyond part would like at the Bed, Bath and Beyond store in Welcome to Night Vale. You know Cecil is all about those 20% coupons.

Selfie Stick, in one's ass, that's the only way it can conceivably work.

18 innocent women on vacation. Sentenced to prison for innocent pictures of the bottom half of their boobs. Sent to Thailand's most notorious jail, full of equally nubile of selfie taking prison. Will they band together and fight for (boob) freedom? Or will their passions overtake them on...

I JUST WANT SOMEONE WHO LIVES IN MY APARTMENT WITH ME WHO I CAN PLAY PRANKS ON AND STUFF.

Obviously, the names Pedophilia Pink, Rape Rosé and Scarlet Statutory, didn't have the nice ring to it.

I'm normally a very nice person who values politeness and kindness- until this one day. I had just moved from a pedestrian-friendly city to one that required a car, and was still adjusting to car culture when I got really sick and had to go to the doctor. The office was in one of the busiest areas of the city, and I…