Yeah, my first thought was juvenile. But my second thought was a juvenile.

Give him a break that was the most honest press conference he’s given to date.

See, this is the thing. I’m 35 and I don’t remember ever hearing the word “terrorism” or if I did, understanding what it was prior to 9/11. But I’m not stupid as to think that’s the day it started.

I just tore a couch cushion in half.

Nothing surprises me anymore. I just read that and was like “...yea he would totally think that.”

The family that resists together persists together. Or something like that.

He was making acid wash jeans.

Honest question: does Mr Trump ever speak in a full sentence? Every phrase sounds like four ideas strung along in a stream-of-conscious blob.

The Great British Baking Show is back on Netflix, so there’s my weekend. They’re making pasties! Now I want a pasty.

Don’t you mean she turned “twenty-fine”?

(I’ll show myself out.)

Now you have your doll I’m ridiculously upset that you can’t have tea with Caity Weaver at the American Girl cafe. At least not at Gaw... Gizmodo Media’s expense.

I thought I saw Trump this morning out in the neighborhood. When I looked more closely, it was an old rusted tea kettle upon which some shit-eating buzzard had built a nest.

Democrats need to start doing this when the blatant lying begins by the GOP.

Are real thing that was in Spicers hands...

Is his name fucking Merrick Garland? No? FUCK OFF

That was actually on her wikipedia page for a half a second before they changed it. I caught the revision

I would accept a lifetime supply of avocados as my tax reimbursement I was promised for fronting the wall in the first place.

Price: It’s true that he said that, yes.

That is amazing.

OMG that’s priceless. Good answer Tom.