This is great, but it may not all be as completely live as you think. Even Springsteen - he’s handled himself rather well onstage a few times - was forced by the NFL to play to a pre-recorded backing track so there wouldn’t be any mistakes!

When I look back on this comment it will be exactly as moronic as it appears right now.

In context, it’s still a weird thing to say. Maybe even weirder than the hundred cans of soup.

He likes America like he likes his wife: Laying on her back, passive, not making a sound, not enjoying herself. Basically a flesh gym sock for him to flop spasmodically on for a minute or two occasionally because it’s her duty.

Maybe he meant it like a “back against the wall” type thing, like a scrappy fighter that won’t give up? I don’t know.

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Sorry, that’s how it works now. Much like how literally can mean figuratively, a selfie can be a photo taken by you of a landscape featuring no-one, or a picture of you taken by someone else, a meme is now just an image with a caption.

Sorry, that’s how it works now. Much like how literally can mean figuratively, a selfie can be a photo taken by you of a landscape featuring no-one, or a picture of you taken by someone else, a meme is now just an image with a caption.

a dad who almost discovered what memes are

I have 0 skin in the game and honestly don’t know much about Nest but yeah those look like memes made by a dad who just discovered what memes are

Does anyone really care about Rhode Island though? It’s not even an island.

Yeah but these laws make sense because, just like gun control laws, they only affect law abiding citizens WAIT SHIT

If he asked to borrow toilet paper, I’d tell him to just use a sock.

Imagine shitting in the stall next to him. He’d stick his hand under the divider and ask to borrow some toilet paper, then use the whole goddamn roll inefficiently, then say “sorry, tough luck.”

No, and if somebody wants to go into a restroom with nefarious purposes, there are already laws against sexual assault, etc., and another law isn’t going to stop them. Bathroom bills only make criminals of transgender people.

This guy deserves his business to go, like, mega-bankrupt.

Would still rather piss with this person next to me than Curt Schilling

Has there ever been a single case of a transgender person attempting to molest a child in a restroom? I’d be more worried about my kids spending time alone with a Republican wrestling coach.

Buying a Honda Insight is still the worst decision he’s ever made, a problem somehow solved by the second worst decision he’s ever made.

“I can’t swim! I can’t swim!”