Oh my GAWD...   My state is right there on his gut.  What in the world did we do to deserve that ignoble distinction...?

The reasonably attractive bit. He always looks like he’s bathed in grease, and his torso looks that greasy.

I don’t like to shame people’s tattoos, but... he looks like a 2 page ad from the tattoo shop’s sample book. It’s like that scene in Forgetting Sarah Marshall when she makes fun of Russel Brand’s ensemble of unrelated tats. Now if that’s what you like, cool, free world & all - but it does somewhat look like a college…

A couple things:

Friend of a friends comment about him “when vanilla thinks it’s hot sauce”. 

How heroic of you.

At the bar I was at, no one wanted to watch the halftime show. So I pulled up Prince’s halftime show from 2008 and Chromecasted it onto all of the screens. The bar was a lot happier and this may be my superhero moment of 2019.

Maybe I’m an old, but his tattoos look like a Terry Gilliam animation sequence from an episode of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, except not one of the good ones, one of the ones you start watching and wonder if you ever saw it before, or just saw it once and forgot about it. 

I imagine they’d be losing their minds no matter what he looked like. Because that’s a fit dad bod. Not take your shirt off during a national performance bod.

Built? That’s a bit generous. That’s a “good” dad bod. It screams dad bod. Which is perfectly fine but you need to be fucking ripped, enviously low body fat and fucking BUILT if you’re going to pull this shit while doing a performance that is limper than a spinach salad left in the rain.

I’m elderly and I don’t understand tattoos. This man has taken what appears to be a reasonably attractive torso and ruined it with a bunch of stupid pictures.

Here’s what I don’t get. Maroon 5's music is about as edgy and challenging as a Fluffernutter sandwich with glass of 1% milk. And yet, this Levine wanker acts like he’s Mike Ness or Henry Rollins or something. Dangerous Mr. Tough guy hitting you with one feather after another. Pat Boone has harder music than this…

The bar was so low and damn if they didn’t submerge themselves under it. Maroon5 and Kylie’s baby daddy were zzzzzz.... what were we talking about? Oh Big Boi. He performed for 30 seconds, checked Venmo to make sure he was paid and peaced out.

Correction. Janet Jackson never exposed her nipple. She had a pastie on.

Let me alleviate your fears and say that no one their right mind goes through two trimesters of pregnancy and then is like “actually I don’t want a kid.” Every single abortion that happens in the third trimester is out of medical necessity. Every single one. And no state in the US allows for late term abortions if…

“After saying that she believes God wants President Trump in the White House”

I know it’ll probably never happen, but how awkward would it be if her kid asks her why she lies for a living.

Am I the only one that almost breaks his mouse-wheel when scrolling past the fuckface-in-chief’s tweets?

Oh, bless you Mitch McConnell, for expressly admitting that when more people can vote, democrats win.