I am a Superman Returns defender, even if I acknowledge  that the nostalgia and the Superman theme is doing the heavy lifting for it. And that its a movie that paid several sex offenders.

I figured you would be more familiar with his kneeling height

if anyone ever had the displeasure of reading that particular jj abrams script (it was leaked online back when people used to leak scripts and stuff all the time) it was...awful. at the end it was revealed that luthor was also kryptonian and they had a matrix-style kung fu fight.

I think he would have been a great Clark/Superman, but man am I glad there was never a Ratner directed Superman.

Bomer does seem like the perfect Clark Kent: Handsome, square-jawed, statuesque, with a perfect wave of dark hair.

1) Would a Bret Ratner-directed Superman film have done anything other than sucked? Count your blessings, Matt Bomer.

Holy fuck, Naomi Watts looks amazing! Is she a vampire, or some kind of immortal? What’s her secret? Goat placenta, monkey sweat? Is it holy water?

Lynch, holding nose and spraying Febreze: Totally respect *tssssh* your privacy for this scene *tssssh* Naomi I’m just - oh god my eyes - *tsssh* gonna be in this tent *tsssh* with twenty scented candles in it *tsssh* action!

I’m sure she was sectioned off partly to feel “safer” but also partly because of her stinky poops.

I liked it but could they have picked a more generic title? Was The Fake Hitman’s Potential Client’s Wife’s Bodyguard taken or something?

Glen Powell in Hit Man, looking like the kind of creepy guy who might eat you after a date

...so that’s not James May?

Jerry Seinfeld has spent more than 20 years watching Larry David prove that he’s who everyone thought Jerry Seinfeld was while watching Seinfeld. And that existential crisis has hounded him more and more each day as everyone cheers on Larry David being both edgy AF and also not a sh**bird pedo like Jerry Seinfeld is.

He’s literally just mad that young audiences don’t connect with his material, so he has to fabricate a reason why that isn’t his comedy sucking.

I think Jerry is still broken up over how Michael Richards has been basically ostracized from society, but what he did would have gotten him “cancelled” during Seinfeld’s run, so it makes no sense.

I’d take Selena in a second over a sequel to Trump.

Jerry was a leader in late 90s ‘gay panic’ jokes.

I just...don’t know what the fuck Seinfeld is on about. Dude never was in any danger of being too fucking edgy, blue, or controversial. I’ve not seen a single thing that approaches even the tamer parts of a Bill Burr or Patton Oswalt show.

Ah, Jerry Seinfeld: the man who was barely relevant on the TV show that bore his name.