Maybe security guards hassle him less because he’s Asian and more because his hair makes him look like a junior high Juggalo or a background extra in a cut scene from the rave in Blade II.

Manziel says he and Gordon are testing themselves and staying positive.

What are you, 5?

FYI the pic you used is one of a kid eating dippin dots...so.....

1. A soft-serve ice cream sundae served in a mini plastic baseball hat.

chicken tenders? i dont believe ive ever seen those in any baseball concession stand ever.

This is the Crying Jordan of Deadspin. I always expect it and I always love it.

“...that I hope will serve as a giant blinking warning sign to any future employer of his...

I think I actually agree with Hinkle’s thought process here: If drafting is a crapshoot (or even something analogous to rolling weighted dice), then having more picks allows you to expand the number of trials to find top players.

A spokesman for ESPN says they’ve been flooded with calls from white people overjoyed to see a black man rooting for them.

I’ll believe he’s the next Tulowitzki when he stubs his toe and misses 45 games to recover from it.

Bad opinion.

Yeah, that part was a little (or a lot) creepy. even assuming she started high school at almost 15, it is still a bit age gap in that particular part of their lives. and really now, who graduates and then goes to date a freshman?!

nice job glossing over the fact that letter writer one was an 18 year old dating a 14 year old. four year age gaps aren’t bad (20-24 isn’t that weird honestly, and the older they get the less the age difference matters) but when the younger person is 14?! that’s literally illegal. why did he graduate high school and…

did no one notice he started dating a freshman in high school, after he graduated. and this is the only people basically either one has been with. Jesus, cut lose on that shit. creep.

Really Marchman? “Pablo Sandoval should look out for open manhole covers.” What kind of journalism is that?

Who is it? Oooh...don’t tell me, let me guess. Is it Jia?

How fat are you that your ass hangs down almost to water level??

Well, at least the posts are about sports now.

Because if there’s anything Jezebel readers can get behind, it’s a man telling them to smile.