If you have a favorite thing, please please PLEASE help your public library by using it, being vocal about it, and voting in ways that support them! It’s a bummer when people yell about not having X service, and you’re not really allowed to reply, “well, it’s because we don’t get enough funding....”

Especially as…

More likely there were a bunch of skeptics who ordered it and while eating the real meat burgers, thinking they were the Impossible burger, they were saying, “Yuk! This is terrible! It tastes nothing like the real thing!”

I’m sorry, but that headline and graphic had me anticipating something much, much more ambitious than a set of sausages with toppings inspired by the flavors of other dishes (well, 5 dishes and 1 liqueur).

I was literally expecting a pizza run through the grinder into some sort of casing and then grilled and dropped on…

Real heads know Reese’s Easter eggs have the perfect peanut butter to chocolate ratio.

As a cyclist, I confirm that this is the one true answer. With the exception being retractable-leash dog-walkers are obviously the absolute worst. Fuck all those people with a hot cactus.

Am I the only one who had no idea what BOGO meant and had to Google it?

Sounds like you’re ready to take the bidet plunge...

Tell me more....

If one of my best friends wasn’t a Mexican, I’d agree. How about we swap Canada instead? Not only would would Trump be gone, but we’d finally have a president who supports single payer healthcare too!

Then would you mind cleaning the bathroom in the guestroom before our out-of-towners get here this afternoon?

Same. I drove that bridge every Friday for months to lay the foundation of my commitment that proved to my now-wife that I was for real. An hour to go a half mile, under any other circumstance, wouldn’t be worth it.

I won’t even travel across a king size bed for sex. You roll to me. 

And Republicans have the gall to complain about Sharia Law.  Y’allquaeda here is such a hypocritical piece of shit.  America is not a theocracy.

Between this asshole, Ted Cruz, and the Trump kids, this administration is ruining beards for everyone else

Thank God Zod it wasn’t a Sunday.

The drive through window was necessary as it is Chick Fil A policy not to let anyone in the back door.

No, Cicada Killers. Bigger, louder, scarier...but also nicer. You pretty much have to be trying to get one to sting you before they will bother you. But that fact doesn’t help when they buzz past your head and it sounds like a low-flying airplane is playing chicken with you.

Even when the cicadas come out, I rarely get the chance to see any because the ground beneath my back patio is home to several dens of these jerks.

Personally, if I were inclined towards prepping, I’d stockpile hot sauce and mustard. They can be pretty self-stable for a long time, and we all know the old saying “In a world where everyone is living off freeze dried food and whatever they can catch, the person with condiments is king.” At least, I think that’s how…

Post-wine texted this to the ex-husband who keeps contacting me