“I for one would like it if people stopped thinking about my safety.”

I look forward to the day when the rulebook takes four pages to define a clap. 

I also enjoyed this reverse angle of Frazier coming around third:

For the remainder of the preseason, Nagy will make Long barf on the exact same spot of the field until he gets it right.

The status of the competitive eating portion of Saturday’s event is TBD

lolololol yeah sure that's what it is, I don't know what I was thinking

Out of respect, all local Taco Bells have ordered their flags to be flown at half más

I guess we have to take those “taco truck on every corner” threats more seriously now.

Of course he was fired, you are supposed to fake injuries ON the field.

But I can already eat at Olive Garden as many times as I want for the rest of my life for zero dollars!

Bohonyi was surprised that he has to actually serve the sentences for the two charges, as he thought they always dropped the highest and lowest charge during judgment.

the ball came spinning out counterclockwise because of the Oriolis Effect

I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess the Vikings don’t have particularly fond feelings for Blair Walsh.

How far can you punt a field goal?

I think he’s just getting cold feet.

Of course they’re not going to let him play with the same helmet he’s played in his whole career. A Steelers helmet would look stupid with a Raiders uniform.

Based on what he says, if any of that sweat is on his back he is gonna get deported.

Sadly, it’s a leadership skill that can’t be taught.  Adding 17 to stuff is just an ability you have to be born with.

These owners really need to stick to sports.

FIBA catches fibber, pee reveals pa, forward must take step back.