I want a Star Wars murder mystery. Directed by Rian Johnson. And starring Daniel Craig as the same Stormtrooper from The Force Awakens.

I come for all you glorious commenters!

And despite your corporate overlords telling you to stick to sports, I hope Deadspin never does because

and I can’t emphasize this enough

I come to Deadspin BECAUSE YOU DON’T JUST STICK TO SPORTS

True. This article is trash and bait at the same time. Sure, shit on the only candidate that has fought his whole life for working people no matte what color. It’s frustrating cause I love The Root and it’s writers but this site willfully plays into the racial divide line that gives all those old white jaggoffs starch…

The question was what would he tell his black son to do in the case he was pulled over. This article pretends it’s his general response to racial injustice in America. I challenge someone here to answer this question in a meaningfully better way, considering that it is you giving advice to your black son.

MLB instructed the home team to wear alternate jerseys so the president is the only obvious white national in the stadium.

Yes, and he’s right. The statute is design to punish worse dealers who go “Oh, we changed your oil and replaced your fuel filter,” but didn’t DO that. It is not designed to punish ordinary negligence in “oh, we changed your oil, but did it poorly.” One represents a fraud on the customer, the other is just negligent.

And in this case the court was right. There was nothing unfair or deceptive about forgetting to tighten the lug nuts, what was just negligence. In this case the mechanic *did* actually rotate the tires, he just did a shitty job at it.

This is more embarrassing than my unintentional smear campaign against Sports Illustrated when Kathy Ireland was on the cover.

If enough of us vote CP it could cause a market shift towards more affordable used Porsches. 

This is the kind of thing they don’t train you for in the academy.

So who’s going to be the scapegoat for Cardinals fans? My money is on Dexter Fowler, former Cub and admitted person of color.

Yes...be very careful of what you say about “black people, minorities, women etc.” in our country.

I know this will seem politically incorrect and I will face the wrath of the entire US population — which, Hi Population! — but as a matter of principle I have to say, Yuan Fang sounds like a dumb douchebag.

In Communist China, Scoops Break You. 

You don’t need a headset when Jesus is calling the plays. #blessed 

I like to think Wilson succeeded because he didn’t have to listen to Brian Schottenheimer.

Did his dad abandon them in October? That would explain a lot.

genuinely unsure how anyone with any reading  comprehension could come to this conclusion