I’m sure he’ll try to parlay this into something bigger.

You can only try to control jim.

Good point, Greg.

Don’t watch much Chopped, huh?

10,000 words and not a one even entertaining the possibility that Janay Rice has actually forgiven her husband and wants to facilitate his return to football, if only to improve their material position in life?

This list...is a very bad list. Saying the NHL playoffs is not good because they go on for a while is no kind of argument. 99% of the games are fantastic/compelling.

Really? “On during a work day” is a reason why you don’t get to see the Champions League? Your work day consists of writing stories about pants shitting.

It seems almost too obvious to point out that this is a bad, bad list.

NHL playoffs are incredibly enticing. Anyone who thinks differently is a heathen and deserves to be cast from society.

So this was just a completely arbitrary exercise used to shit on hockey fans. Cool.

Dear tips@deadspin.com. Please turn this into words on a page so that I can consume it. Sincerely, 85% of your readers.

As did I, at first. The headline writer is obviously not a baseball fan.

What a stupid fucking quiz. Hey, here’s a random sampling of 28 players from a pool of 300+ out of 750 total players. At least change the headline so it doesn’t look like you’re asking a reasonable question, which is name the opening day starting pitcher from each team.

The term “opening day starters” is synonymous with pitching. This post is misleading AND boring.

I find that they’re easier to identify if you give them all Aaron Harang’s eyes

Redacted because I thought you meant starting pitchers.

Am I the only fuckwit who thought starter meant starting pitchers?

Hi Tom, you are incorrect about this.