Yeah, that’s basically the problem, though, isn’t it? It’s a nothingburger of a performance. Mario’s voice has been instantly recognizable for almost 30 years. Chris Pratt’s Mario just sounds like Chris Pratt making the most minimal possible attempt to sound like Linda from Bob’s Burgers. You couldn’t pick that voice…

Why didn’t Jon Stewart talk about how my cat’s breath smells like cat food.

I too am outraged that there is video game news on this video game site.

Well, whose fault is that? Mario has two lines and only has an accent for one of them. If Pratt can’t even give the character an accent consistently then you can’t really blame people for overlooking it.

The fact that the Penguin King got more lines than Mario in a trailer for a Mario movie should tell you a lot about how much confidence the studio has in Pratt’s performance.

At this point even the Illumination marketing team realizes they fucked up by casting Pratt as Mario. Just look at how 90% of this trailer spotlights Jack Black’s Bowser (who sounds amazing!) and seems to be trying to show us as little Mario dialogue as possible.

You’re overthinking this. There isn’t some organized campaign throughout the internet to hate on a rich millionaire celebrity. People just got tired of him. Overexposure is a very well-documented phenomenon. People enjoy a franchise or star, Hollywood responds by giving us WAY, WAY MORE of the franchise or star than…

The Brooklyn thing was an invention of Nintendo of America, and never endorsed by the creators of the actual games, which is why it only showed up in US-produced spinoff media. Also, Yoshi’s Island depicts the brothers being born in the Mushroom Kingdom and that game came out 27 years ago.

For me, it’s the mustache. It’s a bit too small and not bushy enough.

Bowser sounds like Bowser, not Jack Black. Mario sounds like Chris Pratt making a half-assed attempt at an accent which isn’t even consistent throughout all his lines.

Always a good sign when the main actor can’t keep his accent consistent.

You: This article doesn’t even cite any real person.

Come quick, everyone! There’s a white guy on Youtube!

I found Angel more insufferable than Buffy, honestly. Yes, Buffy could act like a total teenager sometimes, but she was literally a teenager so at least that’s authentic writing. Angel is like 200 years old (and looks like he’s 30) yet he frequently acts less mature than Buffy. In both shows, the lead character is one…

Were you not aware that girls can be sixth graders.

Also, She-Hulk is funny and fast-paced instead of dour and self-important.

The Doyle Estate has been on a lawsuit spree the last few years (they even tried to sue Netflix over their Enola Holmes movie; Netflix won.) It’s because they know Holmes will completely enter the public domain soon so they’re trying to grab as much of that infringement money as they can before the gravy train runs…

This is basically George of the Jungle, and you know what? The 1997 live action movie version of that cartoon has actually aged surprisingly well, to the point that it’s something of a cult classic among millenials. So I think you actually nailed how to do Tarzan in the present day, even if someone else thought of the…

Yeah, I remember being an edgy 6th grader who thought she had the world figured out, too.

Apparently queer people aren’t allowed to be excited for things because that’s cringey or something.