Turns out, the secret of being the best in a JJ Abrams trilogy is to be the one not made by JJ Abrams.

I like how “woke culture” has now devolved into a pointless buzzword meaning “anything I personally don’t like.”

Okay, Disney Animation did it with Encanto, Pixar did it with Turning Red, now it’s Marvel’s turn to make its entry into the Dealing With Generational Trauma and Reconciling With the Overbearing Family Matriarch Cinematic Universe.

When she flipped to the other side, my friend said “Oh shit, she saw the ancestors,” and you know what that’s good enough for me.

Yes? Have you not noticed how many affluent westerners will make a big fucking deal out of how much money they spent on something useless? Hell, the entire NFT market is basically built on that impulse.

Well, the con was held at the same military base that Cap trained at, so it’s got to be government-run, right? Maybe it’s a fundraising thing for whatever agency is in charge of superhero stuff now. It might actually be a recruitment tool, honestly. “Want to be a real hero? Join SHIELD today! Get money for college!…

Much like an A- is considered “The Whore’s B+.”

Eh, the binge model is a holdover, too. Back when Netflix first began, it was a cool gimmick used to emphasize the benefits of streaming: wow, a whole season at once! And no commercials! Take that, CBS!

No one’s talking about corporate whatever metrics but you. People just like having discussions about media they enjoy, and it’s hard to do that when everyone else has moved on from a show you want to discuss.

People enjoy having conversations about things, my dude. I’m not sure why that seems so foreign to you.

Except lots of Netflix shows end each episode with some big cliffhanger anyway, so the binge model doesn’t actually do anything to prevent that.

I mean, he did literally do that in the comics, so maybe? Black Adam was an actual dictator for a while, started a global war, pulled all sorts of shit. The movie is a spinoff with Shazam so maybe it leads up to a showdown between the two of them. After all, the whole reason Black Adam was created was so that Captain…

Remember when Wonder Woman 1984 had a whole sequence set in Egypt, and it looked so much like Fake Hollywood Egypt that actual Egyptian people (including the director of Moon Knight) complained? Makes sense that they would decide to just sidestep all that.

In that case, they should just do a dinosaur spring break sex comedy like everyone wants.

A 68% RT score isn’t what I would call “most of the known universe” liking it.

I really appreciate the honesty of Mori’s statement. It would have been easy (and probably more marketable) for him to say something like “it will be just like Miura intended!” But instead he admits that Miura’s genius will be missing from the final work, and asks us to support them despite that. That’s really…

They really can’t fathom the idea that normal people aren’t excited about a future where everything in the world, even escapism, is an endless grind. They’ve sublimated their own lives into nonstop #hustle bullshit and they just assume everyone wants to be as joyless as them.

The year is 2030. There are no video games because cryptobros used all the Earth’s electricity to mint a single Super NFT, which depicted a vomiting monkey wearing a fez. Some guy bought it for $93 million and said “I’ll sell it for four times as much!” right before it ceased to exist because there was no longer any…

Ahh yes, Brock “The Rapist” Turner.

Who wants to bet that Captain Justice here has never lifted a goddamn finger to help a single falsely accused person in his life? Ahhh, but he’s all too happy to use their misery as a cudgel to attack someone else who’s been pushed around by the system. Super classy.