Do you have Plastic Man powers because that was one hell of a stretch.

Cancel culture isn’t a real thing. The only actual consequence of being “cancelled” is that your career gets a temporary boost because you start getting sympathy attention from all the people who think cancel culture is going to end the world.

Dave Chapelle hasn’t blazed anything since approximately 2004. Now he’s become the kind of tired washed-up comic who defends the status quo, the exact type of person who PREVENTS trans comedians from flourishing.

No matter how hard I try I can’t look at this without thinking “they made Stranger Things with Ghostbusters branding.” If you watch this side-by-side with the Stranger Things episode where the kids dress up like Ghostbusters, it’s like looking into two parallel universes.

Turns out it pays well to be a fake socialist on the internet.

Nickelodeon has plenty of money.

Nah, a rational person would realize that top male streamers also have multiple sources of revenue, so it balances back out to the women still not making nearly as much.

“These figures are missing a lot of information,” he said, and then proceeded to provide exactly no data to back up his points.

The episode before that finale was a big CGI dustup where Loki and friends fight the evil cloud that’s guarding the Bad Guy Castle, but okay.

My least favorite part of the Ubisoft formula is all the sexual harassment.

There are people who complain that the ending was bad because the show stopped being a creepy fake sitcom. But...that was kind of the point? The fake sitcom angle HAD to end for the story to have a resolution. I guess some folks just wanted them to do a second season where Wanda is still trapping everyone in town in a…

I’m sure budget is a factor but it’s an exaggeration to say that voices would be as expensive to implement as half the characters. It’s not like they’d need to bring in all the characters’ voice actors in to record for the game. Nick owns dozens of hours of voice recordings of each of these characters. Just use those!…

Everyone knows why NFT’s are stupid on a practical level, but it’s kind of hilarious how goddamn worthless they are on an artistic level. Every single NFT is an ugly picture of a dude in 3/4ths profile looking to the right. There’s no technical limitation preventing them from doing something different, it’s just that…

I’m gonna need quite a few tequilas to make a character this boring seem interesting.

See you in six weeks when Patrick is dominating at every tournament because someone discovered a wavedash juggle infinite zipbird combo which when combined with his edgehog recovery projectile, grants him 1/7325th of a frame of invincibility, thus giving him favorable matchups against Alanis Morissette.

Well, you could make that argument with Mickey (who isn’t nearly as important a KH character as Donald or Goofy anyway) but Donald and Goofy helped Sora beat up Riku, who ended up being a good guy, so I’d say the “no fighting friends” rule has already been broken.

Let me know when something spectacular will be arriving. Because today all we got was a character who was intentionally designed to be a generic JRPG protagonist so he wouldn’t upstage his many Disney co-stars. Which was a very good choice in his actual games. But when you take all those Disney co-stars away for Smash,…

“It’s why it’s stayed so popular.”

Kingdom Hearts is interesting because of all the Disney stuff jammed into it. Sora by himself is not interesting. He’s a standard-issue JRPG protagonist. People like him because he’s friends with Donald Duck and Aladdin and a weird uncanny valley version of Captain Jack Sparrow. But his Smash incarnation won’t include…

Simple solution: Find the one baby on Earth who is actually the reincarnation of Kurt Cobain (using the same techniques they use to find the next Dalai Llama) and photograph him in a pool for the new cover. Lawsuit is now impossible because everyone knows you can’t sue yourself.