I've never understood this joke. Like, is that a real thing? I've slept with a guy or two (or multiples of those numbers) and never has a guy been unable to "find" the clitoris.

So I know everyone just lovvveeess Mara Wilson but I feel like she just spends her whole day thinking of a clever tweet.

I thought they lived in NYC?

And, on that infamous evening in New England, as the snow banks stood massive and the tears of hipsters everywhere fell as they watched the power they had habituated to receiving from whipping out their iDevices and typing furiously upon their single star...

My wild dream is to have enough money to not have to worry so much about money anymore.

I think we now know what happened to Jean LaFoote, Cap'n Crunch's old nemesis.

i feel like anna wintour is the moirai of fashion's existence

HOLD ON a minute and explain Canadian milk.

Also:

do you mean in Montana aka French Montana

I was 8 years old when I went into my parent's bedroom one morning while my parents were still asleep and saw my Dad had a boner. I totally freaked out, woke my Mom up by dragging her out of the bed, and called 911 because I thought it was a chestburster from Aliens.

Jesus christ, everyone needs to shut up about being in the grays already. I've been following and commenting on Jezebel since the goddamn website began and I'm still in the grays. Who gives a shit.

The other day I was leaving from work and noticed the tell-tale green box of Thin Mints lying in the road. Then I saw a sleeve of the cookies scattered across the road, but I couldn't find the second sleeve. I slowed to a crawl and scoured the area, finally noticing the intact roll of deliciousness resting, apparently…

Just came here to make sure my 2 faves took the top 2 spots. Good job, Jez. As you were.

David Bowie and Queen! (I just found the isolated vocal track for Under Pressure. It's bonkers.)

*waits for someone to correct you and tell you that the correct term is vulva or mons veneris*

Harris Wittels? Noooo! That's very, very sad news.

What'd she order, Fish Filet?

Can we discuss how squicky the accompanying V photos of Selena make me feel? It's like they tried to make her look *really* young, and also there's some Latina stereotyping/fetishization going on, to me. (Maybe it's just me, though.)

Yes, I was joking.