Women get to have a life experience that men do not: they can carry a child within them that they will eventually birth. They get to bond with their unborn child and form attachments far earlier than men do with their children. Jealousy is not the emotion here; it's envy. Pregnancy is pure magic to me, and I envy…

"They clearly missed talking to me as I would have skewed the hell out of those Los Angeles results," she said with a sneer as she threw off her dansko clogs and shoved her feet into her sheepskin slippers.

Am I the only person who likes Little Caesar's? (If that's the pizza to which you refer...) Fuck, I've even seen the commercial for that cheesy pretzel pizza and want it.

When I was 18, I lived with my (now ex) boyfriend in a basement apartment in a town in Wyoming. It was not a happy time in my life for various reasons (boyfriend was abusive, I was pregnant with his child) but it also didn't help that the apartment was creepy as shit. Even for a basement apartment, it was unusually…

Is this someone new writing this? It used to be sarcastic and funny, now it's just stupid commentary. Ruins my weekly guilty pleasure :(

This was a hot mess of rambling words. I could't even finish it for fear of a seizure.

Celebrity Edition!

I don't always, but when I do, it's because the pooping muscles were ejecting the tampon anyway.

#thingsionlysayonline

The honey one is my favorite! Haven't tried the coconut kind. The calorie thing is a heartbreaker. I always try to just eat half.

Target has a "special edition" pumpkin Noosa. It's meh. But the honey flavor. Oh baby. And if you like coconut, get thee some Noosa. It's caloric, though: 300+ per container.

bye

Have you tried Noosa yogurt? It's the stuff of gods!

I made pumpkin soup this weekend. It was SO good and not at all sweet. Savory and delicious with curry and ginger. ~sounds of stomach rumbling~ Is it too early for soup?

The writers for the two daily Dirt Bags (not even including the weekend) have changed 5 times in the last month. The tag does not show up on the main page on the web, only when you actually open the story. Every other regular feature — both on Jezebel and all the other Gawker Media sites — is affirmatively indicated…

Are you guys actively trying to make it impossible to find Dirt Bag? Someone gave me the tip to look for the bold names — since you can no longer tell from the non-existent tag or the time or the authors — and now you don't even do that consistently. This is infuriating.

Congratulations! That's a big step in a relationship! My only tips are to make sure you spend time apart and to make a cleaning schedule. If you are always the one who gets stuck cleaning the bathroom, it's going to get real old real fast.

it looks good bc they let the rhythm take them over

Guys, I've been watching Gilmore girls again on netflix and it is like catching up with old friends. I'm still in the first season but I cry constantly and every time luke and lorelai make eyes at each other I just wanna be like COME ON GUYS, GET IT TOGETHER.

Good lord, how have we gotten so far as a species.

This is not Kendall. Right?