Congratulations, now you know how I feel every time someone on Jalopnik tries to write an article about patents.  

Boneless wings belong on the kids menu. They are just crappy nuggets.

Sure, why not?  Bread and chocolate is a thing.  Toast that bun up and let the chocolate get nice and melty.

Jesus, no.

So, if I never played the game, will I be lost trying to watch this show?

I bet pretzels would also be a good dipping vehicle.

You should do it.  The chance to own something that you had a hand in creating is a unique experience.  

As is the case with most things in life, Starbucks started doing that because too many people abused the system and would sign up with different email addresses so that every month/week was their birthday.  Other people always ruin good things.  

I used to work with someone who would take the day of his birthday off so he could drive around and collect all of the free birthday shit.  He’d have his driving route planned so that it was efficient to go to each place in a certain order.  

More like a thumbs up, thumbs down, thumbs up, thumbs down, thumbs on the ground. 

Carplay. It’s terrible. It locks you out of so many different features in the name of safety then doesn’t properly provide those features. I spent an entire 15 minute drive trying to get Siri to call someone. Eventually I had to disable Carplay at a stoplight when I was permitted to use the touchscreen again just to…

It might depend on the manufacturer.  I thought it was great in my BMW but have hated it in some rental cars.  

This isn’t even CP, this is whatever is worse.  Choking yourself until you pass out?  Huffing metallic spray paint from a brown paper bag so your mouth is silver?  

Erin’s Gone, Brah

Yeah, those were pretty good.  

Pretty much the only time I go to a McDonalds is when I’m out of the country. In Japan, I had the shaka shaka fries and an Ebi Filet-O Shrimp burger. The fries were just normal fries with a seasoning packet (eh) but the Filet-O Shrimp was pretty damn tasty.

Any car.  Or all of David Tracy’s cars.  Well, maybe not. 

The last time I moved a superload was after returning home from a week long vacation without a single bowel movement.  It may not have been 294 tons, but it sure felt close.

At least the photos don’t have the date/time stamp on them or aren’t blurry scanned images of actual film photographs.