Unbelievably, I had to correct this from “100% TRUMP supporter” to “110% TRUMP supporter.” 

I dont watch baseball, but I read enough articles about it and listen to enough sportscasters to have a sense of what fans of baseball want. And from where I sit, what they want isn’t a sport; they want a club, one that is asinine and boring enough that you and I aren’t interested, leaving them to enjoy it their way.

Stick to politics, Deadspin.

robot umpires might disadvantage a certain kind of precision pitcher who nibbles on the corners and successfully teases out a wider strike zone

Too not white for that.

Thank you for providing us with only the best in tightly focused sports content, because that is definitely why I have visited deadspin every fucking day for over fifteen years

This is a fine typo. Have a star!

He is definitely already one of Philadelphia’s top 10 celebrities.

Thanks Dan, this is just the kind of hard-hitting investigative journalism I come to Deadspin for.

[extremely Elton John voice] get that, chonky cat

Still not as big of a pussy as Jim Spanfeller is, amirite?!?!?

This chonky cat makes me Remember late-era Andres Galarraga. Thank you for this laser focused sports content.

Pretty sure they just lifted the team names from Atari’s Cyberball.

HE HATE TEAMS

Finally, the league from Any Given Sunday is here for real! 

Uhh, the entire blog is about him preferring to play power forward.

“I mean, I’d never really considered it. What if I really am just a belly-itcher?”

Imagine hating the Yankees so much you know how many times they have made the playoffs in the past 25 years.

STRIKE!