“You make 100% of the shots you don’t miss.        -Arike Ogunbowale” - Michael Scott

I don’t know if the article author (Prentice Elliott) gets credit for the headline, or if someone else came up with it, but whoever did deserves some kind of award.

Summitt Mounts, Peaks

“son of legendary Tennessee coach Pat Summitt” is doing a lot of lifting in his story.

This hardly seems newsworthy so I’ll take this opportunity to say:
Lady Techsters is a terrible name and their logo is shameful.

So by the time this guy was 25, he had been married, was a D-1 basketball assistant coach and then a head coach, had an affair with one of his players, got that player pregnant, resigned from his head coaching job and then got divorced?

Along came a scribe
With creepy vibes
And made Muffet wave him away.

Dermot Smurfit sounds like the name of some hapless bastard that dies terribly in a Coen Brothers movie. That being said, he very clearly has my vote. 

Bear Spiker and Storm Duck - if anything, I am learning that I’m a complete and total mark for animal-specific names. Even more-so, I am 100% all in on names that could also be metal bands for children. 

...then that would be worse. Tuna’s opponent’s magic is precisely the theological and aesthetic juxtaposition between the cardinal virtue of chastity and the suddenly visible fant of this one’s gooch.

Would anyone be unhappy with a Bear Spiker-Pope Thrower final?

Shaky Sherpa vs Steele Fortress was the hardest decision I’ve had to take lately, and I just bought my first house this week.

This region is almost seeded upside down. My bracket has a 11-8 seed final between Gooch and Sherpa. Sherpa has a long and winding road but I think they can climb out of this region. 

Having the voting on Deadspin really helps Bear Spiker’s chances.

“Lionel Pimpin” was also the reason the Commodores broke up

This is true. Most of the time I’m voting against that outcome.

The fact that Cory Phast Lane isn’t the name of an 80's cover band is criminal. That is absolutely the name of a band that will crush The Outfield on a Thursday Dollar Wells night. 

General Booty might be the best 13-seed of all time.  Drastically underseeded

I can’t see “Cletorious Aretha” without thinking that one of the parents had their heart set on “Clitoris Urethra” and the other parent made them compromise to “Cletorious Aretha.”

How could you have a first round match-up of Candy Button Disco and General Booty? No way they should meet until the Elite 8 at the earliest.