Sorry, smart business decisions are not allowed on Jalopnik. The only true answer is to build brown diesel wagons, sell them for $5000, and blame Trump when they go out of business.

If you are so offended by this, you should change your name to weatherperson instead of weatherman.

If you consider what GM and Ford were hocking at the time, these were the best of the domestics. The Contour and Mystique were decent, too; they were also overpriced, cramped, and ill-adapted for the American market. And the less said about the N-body Malibu and its Cutlass clone, the better.

I owned one through part of College. It was a 500 dollar car when I needed cheap transportation.

Three on the tree, amirightpeople?

...but true Canadians use “Canadian Tire” money.

We don’t have TV’s. Here in Canada, companies just paint a moose with an ad and set it free. You’ll be looking out your window when the new 2018 Durango moose walks by.

How to lie with statistics. Exclude cars older than 6 years old and Ferraris, Lambos and Porsches under 6 years and than compare.

Why would I want to punch a spark plug?

What a ridiculous review. You are so offended by every little thing, how do you possibly make it through your day?

Yeah, Shakespear was total garbage too, cause they didn’t allow women on stage. How DARE the past not live up to your contemporary indignation!

Two door, with a diesel, with rear barn doors. This thing is a unicorn three times over.

Well at least this is a pretty good reason for wanting an auto.
Like others have mentioned, a HRD car would make a pretty cool option as the controls would all be much easier to reach...except for the turn signal which would be on the right.
But unless you rig up a special shifter like C.Felente then a manual would be a…

He was juggling chainsaws for the circus. In Baghdad.

Jalopnik, please delete this guys post - I don’t need any more competition...

If it breaks catastrophically, you will create a crater and destroy a town.

I was on the fence until I read that ad, but that seller is seriously insane. This line had to be my favorite part:

Well, it should do well for them, provided it has a strong lead-in from Formulaic Courtroom Drama #872.

Nope. This is how Baby Boomers write stuff. Self-important, overly wordy and pseudo-intellectual. I can literally HEAR the all-white New Balances and leather smartphone belt holster.