#NotAllHrPeople!

HR is never there for the employees. If you don’t learn that in the first 6 months of employment, you should probably not be allowed to use scissors.  HR’s whole role is to ensure the human part of the equation costs the company as little as possible, including defense from lawsuits.  If they tell you anything else,…

This honestly makes me wonder: How do companies lay off their HR people? Who, like, hosts the meeting?

You contract out a different HR group to lay the first off.

My wife was in HR. The HR manager lays off the HR people. But only after the HR people have finished laying off the non-HR people. Then BOOM! Karma happens.

We are here to make limbo tolerable, to ferry wounded souls across the river of dread until the point were hope is dimly visible. And then stop the boat, shove them in the water and make them swim.

Wanna hear something fucked up? My company’s CEO brought the CFO into a conference room, accompanied by the VP of HR so that they could fire the CFO. About 30 minutes later, the CEO brought that same VP of HR into the room with one of her subordinates to fire her.

“Today, I have the wonderful job of naming this week’s Star Sportswriter. And this week, our Star Sportswriter is a man whose thoroughly unremarkable beer tangents have become a thing of legend. This week’s Star Sportswriter is...Peter King!”

Management Stooge #1: Man, I really don’t want to lead this meeting. Telling half the staff they are fired is going to be terrible. You got lucky.

“Authentic Brand Groups” would be too obvious for a writers’ room.

Intrigued. Intrigued enough to go to Chipotle? I’m not sure. I don’t hate it, but it’s not really on my short list.

Seriously, why would I put tofu in a burrito?  It seems... wrong.  Just beans and rice and cheese for me if I want to go meatless, and it’s still largely a good experience.

I don’t think these meat-alternatives are necessarily trying to create new customers based on taste; I think they’re trying to give customers who are trying to lower their red meat footprint another option, and also trying to expand their offerings for vegans/vegetarians (assuming those last 2 groups decide to eat at,…

Given that the burrito is probably assembled less than a minute before you get it, five minutes sounds like the right amount of time for flavors to meld without losing too much heat.

It takes time for the cheese to melt, the rice to absorb the various juices, and I’m assuming, the guac and sour cream to warm up.

He’s not wrong. I really don’t see this becoming a mainstream thing. It’ll just be another niche.

I mean, in Chipotle’s culinary milieu the obvious plant-based protein to put in your burrito or bowl is *legumes*.  I would say beans, but lentils are also potentially appropriate.

They didn’t pay for shit. The goose game is that fucking good. It captured people’s imaginations, and outlets like AV club are churning out some quick articles because they know that people are gonna click on that magnificent bastard, the horrible goose. 

It turns out that the real prize Untitled Goose stole was our hearts.

No because your stuff sucks.