BUT I HAVE [irrelevant number] BLACK FRIENDS!11!!1!

a white girlfriend continually calling her black boyfriend "boo" even after he's asked her to stop, another white woman who won't stop touching her black friend's afro and a student cooing to his would-be hookup partner that he wants to, "eat him like a Hershey kiss."

Part of me is waiting to find out this comment thread is an art piece. It's just too perfect. It hits all the buttons. #notall, MLK, it's all there...

People film that shit. When are you going to want to watch that? I guess, if your kid brings home a date you Just Fucking Hate...

My cat is a clean slim female. I thought of her.

I always said ikea products should have a difficulty rating, except instead of stars or whatever theu would use fights. Like, this is a two-fight armoire.

My cats are a bunch of fur-covered bastards. I let them know this just about every morning.

I would watch a reality show about you and Allen.

OMG, I think I'm a guinea pig! I have to pee every 10-15 minutes.

If only there were more brave pets out there to inform people that no one cares about their stupid goddamn twee ukelele noodling.

I doubt he even puts up the lid. He just pisses all over the whole toilet and calls it a day.

GOD PUTIN IS SUCH A CUNTFUCKPENISFACE UGH

"The LAPD cleared Collins in a 2012 investigation, which the department said they are now reviewing because there was no glaring media spotlight on them at the time, according to the Los Angeles Times."

Fixed.

I don't know what makes me more sad- the unbridled racism or the total lack of knowledge about how we pass on our genes. There's nothing to do but facepalm into oblivion after a comment like that.

Are we sure that eating figs makes you look like an asshole? Or do you just look like an asshole?

Me too. Provided "help they need" is code for the leads in a remake of Perfect Strangers.

This is more like it.

This is why I abstained until marriage and only enjoy coitus with my loving wife and 800 concubines.

BTW, I love our screen name because my mother used to use it for any girl who wore tight sweaters and "didn't know what's good for her". Yes, my mother was Marjorie Main