Can Will Smith Convince Jaden Smith To Go To School So He Might Possibly Learn About Grammar, Punctuation And Spelling?

Tweet Beat, now with 100% too much Jaden Smith.

Humans are dry out of water so that means fish are dry underwater.

"EW" is how I normally respond as soon as I hear anything associated with will.i.am on the radio.

"High on weed" is such a dubious phrase; also, it will never not be funny when people say that. It's like, "smoking drugs" or "reefer." Just kills me every time.

Jaden Smith released a song. It is 7 minutes long but lasts an eternity on a spiritual level. It is about meeting a girl at Coachella, as all the great love songs are.

Everyone at Amal's wedding got an iPod? Not surprised - Bono was probably handing them out. "Hey guys, our new album is already on here! No, don't walk away, I'll just slip this into your bag, then."

Amal's wedding dress by Oscar de la Renta is much more lovely than my wedding dress by J. C. de la Penney.

They were already writing us off as baby killers anyway, so... *shrugs*

It's not about children, it's about feeling superior by making others the bad guy.

Jiminy Cricket.

Dyson. Forever and always. My house may be a mess, but my floors are spotless.

People view it as a privacy invasion. I guess they're worried someone is going to hack Apple and everyone's wallpaper will be changed to a close-up of a badly wiped-anus or something.

I'm trying to imagine the bringing mr.steak 3 god damn filets. No one needs that much beef to start with, his colon must be like one of those oversized 3 wick candles and his farts must sound like moos.

Patrick Stewart should be officially named "Goodwill Ambassador of All That is Awesome."

Normal relationships are dynamic and unpredictable sometimes.

"Moaning quietly into a napkin about clocks?"

That headline is an emotional roller coaster.

Barfing forever. Can you imagine if a guy tried to say that shit to you?

or you could, y'know, eat some real cheese.