You weird, crazy bastard, I love your articles so much. Although I think you confused "grown-up food" with "cat food" for #4.
tsyra
tsyra
Sooooo even though I'm in the 40% who can digest milk, I should stop because... Well, it grosses you out? I think you're lactose intolerant and are taking out your anger on us milk digesters. Quit hatin' on our awesome evolutionary advantage.
I thought that at first... but then when she made her bullshitty comments about consent later in the article (dolphins can just swim away), I wasn't so sure anymore.
And I couldn't help but notice the author couldn't even throw in that she didn't agree with that awful bullshit. Ugh.
So your twitter post for the article that says "Hey guys I interviewed a guy who fucked a dolphin" is NOT playing him for laughs? Not only is your view of consent fucked up, but you're full of shit.
...that's a normal looking baby. WTF is wrong with you? Have you never seen a baby? Do you think they come out looking like tiny adults? I'll help you, you monstrously stupid person. Here's some newborn babies. See how they all look chubby? That's how babies look.
I mean, it'd be cuter if it wasn't all shriveled and legless...
Here's the email from the internets for anyone else interested in what it said.
They refused the baby actors union's demands, so they went to the doll actors union for their star.
This guy is a grade A douche for cheating, BUT double dick amputation is most definitely not even close to a reasonable reaction. That's what divorce is for. Not scissors. Divorce. File the papers, take the kids, win the monies. Not a super circumcision of evilness. Now he should file the papers, take the kids, win…
I went to a friend's house and played a game that ended up with me drawing a gremlin with his dick out looking at hairy dolphin porn. Then I watched said friends do karaoke while a ginger dog jumped over the couch to catch a squeaky chicken toy. I fucking loved it.
I used to wear thongs a lot and never had the poop problem. If your thong is literally inside your buttcrack rubbing your asshole, your thong is too small! Would you wear normal underwear that were so tight they went inside your ass crack and labia? No, you wouldn't, so don't do that with thongs! Wear a size that lays…
I see PlayDoh is now including toys for kids AND for their parents in each package.
Why didn't she just creep around at local dog parks and ask people to borrow their dogs? Wait... now that I wrote that out, I see exactly why she didn't do that. 100x creepier than Craigslist.
Fact: Only republicans like coconuts in their cake.
I think the lady in this story might be a great guest to bring to Thanksgiving with you next year... Just make sure your MIL starts eating before her.
"GET OFF MY 400 POUND WEDDING DRESS THIS INSTANT, YOUNG LADY!"
I LOVED MY PUPPY SURPRISE AND AM BUYING A NEW ONE RIGHT NOW.