Cripes, that shit annoys me. I hate having to buy fresh herbs that I'll use a sixth of if I'm lucky.

I was buying the ingredients for potato salad a couple of weeks ago here in NM and the 20-year old male checker was baffled by the parsley. "Nobody buys parsley!" Really? So the store stocks it just to throw away? Why am I paying 79 cents for something I'll just use 15 cents worth of if you guys are just going to…

I was in a Safeway store over the weekend, and a customer at the register was furious about the fact that the store was out of frozen pie crust. "I'm going to have to go to another store just to buy pie crust! I looked in the case, and the price was there, but there were no pie crusts on the shelf!" She was…

This is all I can think of.

I don't like people anymore. Is there some way I can avoid all people forever?

I didn't watch the original ending, so I'm just going to go with this one and assume that's how it happened all along.

I'm in Arlington. High five.

As a resident of Virginia, I plan to giggle uncontrollably for a solid month.

Would you guys think I was a creep if I told you the rinds are my favorite part of brie? Because if so, your loss: more brie rinds for me!

Whatever TLO nailed it, Jennifer Aniston is a troll of the tabloids http://tomandlorenzo.com/2014/08/jennif…

Um, you know that panda express isn't really Chinese food, right? My husband's parents are Chinese Buddhists who are vegetarian, so I've been schooled. The trick to getting authentic Chinese vegetarian cuisine is to eat at a restaurant connected to a temple. This works in the US, China and Taiwan. If you're on the…

IIRC, Oliver was a straight-out ginger.

the comment section of this post has become the ultimate in aggy mansplaining

He could have said "I am not going to marry you."

That man is so.. crinkly.

You know that open-ended question you gals posed not long ago, asking readers what we'd like to read more of on Jezebel?

Not this.

I've literally never worn socks going through security, because socks are for control freaks. Considering I've never picked up a fungus, I must assume airports (gasp!) wash their floors at regular intervals.