Despite its wild success, it has been cast as unserious, unintellectual smut.

This. While there’s tons of advice for men to communicate more, women need to do their part, too. No one learns in a vacuum and if you just blow off every guy who doesn’t know what he’s doing, you’re going to end up constantly disappointed. Communication is a two-way street. Do your part.

All good stuff, but one other note. All of those different things that different women want? Sometimes the same woman wants different things on different days (and sometimes different things on the same day). It all boils down to this mantra: Communication is sexy.

The author is saying she didn’t appreciate the efforts of a guy who didn’t know what the hell he was doing. Sorry young drunken hookup guy wasn’t a pro. How about some communication herself? Three lines of suggestion would probably have put things on the right path.

agree on the kink. If it’s in a fun spirit rather than a psychoanalytical one, it’s much hotter. Nothing kills the mood like needing to debrief on deep existential thoughts and socio-cultural implications after sex. “That was fun!” is a lot hotter.

thanks to porn, I’m pretty sure women only want a BBC/BWC and since I don’t have that, I will never be able to satisfy a woman.

Yeah. So most people have HSV-1, which as the article points out is associated with oral herpes. I have that, although I don’t get the cold sores. But through oral sex, I have given my husband HSV-1 on his genitals and he did have an HSV-1 outbreak there. It was pretty upsetting, but also mild. So yeah. If you’re one…

Customers get prolonged one-on-one attention and a lap dance/rub-up-on type interaction but they don’t get to remove their clothes or use their hands to initiate touching, usually. A lengthy one-on-one lap dance is an “additional service” compared to be one of many audience members watching someone onstage.

Thank you for this post.

Yeah, plus it ain’t just about the infections we already know about that condoms are good for. It is what is around the next bend, the next big STD that hasn’t emerged yet. There is always a new infection just around the bend, ready to manifest, and nobody wants to be mentioned as patient zero in the textbooks of the…

Preach!

An alternative, more likely thesis: homosexuality is so accepted today not *in spite of* the HIV/AIDS epidemic, but *because* of it.

This brings us back to his impossible-to-ignore forgiveness tour. Earlier this year, Heimlich was profiled by the gilded gatekeepers of the New York Times and SI, where he was given ample space to say he is not sorry and never did anything wrong. The girl’s mother’s adamant insistence that Heimlich did do the crime…

I’m kind of surprised many of you even bothered to read this. Clearly you are a wee bit (A LOT) judgemental. Maybe that has been your experience, or maybe you’re just making assumptions, but I can say that much of what has been discussed here (in the comments) has NOT been my experience ... and I’m a 53-year old woman…

YES! I made the mistake of going to a club alone the first time - MUCH different experience than when I went with a “lifestyle boyfriend”

That is exactly it. I had more fun telling friends that I was in a threesome than actually having it.

As the unicorn can I say...discuss boundaries with the third person is uber important. I somehow ended up in a locked bathroom with just the guy at one point, feeling incredibly uncomfortable.

Yes, agree—we don’t usually expect service industry workers to look out for our wellbeing, but with certain kinks the stakes are so high that the provider has a higher amount of responsibility, IMO. For example, when I was a 20 year old prodomme I had a submissive client offer to turn over control of his bank account…

I think I get it. So basically, you sound like you’re saying it gets exploitative if the FinDom is just thinking about getting stuff, and not considering things like “Can this guy afford everything he’s giving me? Is he in a mental state where he should be choosing a relationship like this to begin with?”.

I was domming semi-professionally at 19 and did fine, but I definitely look back on some of the dudes I met now with more concern than I did at the time.