"Happy Memorial Day everybody! The McDonald's on my jet makes the best food-like hot salty shapes. I love Indians!"

What is Kathryn Hahn doing in this? Does she need the money that badly? Should we send her money so she doesn't have to do stuff like this?

I predict no fewer than three Trump-centered reality TV shows will pop up in 2017. Here are some possible titles: "Trump'd," "Donald Knows Best," "Tower of Power," "I Love Mexicans!"

You mean Texas?

Yeah, Trump is basically lifting this attack line straight from a now very outdated and embarrassing Chris Rock standup bit from the '90s.

I'm thinking his health might give way. He's got a fatal combination going: lack of rest (judging by his 24/7 Twitter habit and speaking schedule), his off-the-charts arrogance and sense of infallibility, and his love of taco salads.

Have you seen some of the shit people write on the internet? It's impossible to tell what's a joke anymore.

It's music that seems like a good idea to put on when you're banging, but then you accidentally listen to the lyrics and realize you need to switch it back to Ginuwine.

In an ideal world, candidates would be forced to go on late night talk shows, and the writers would have full control to write whatever questions they want. As it is now, it's just a way for a candidate to get exposure to key demographics, and the shows lamely go along with it.

Well, he's Canadian, so he can't vote here. And even if he could vote here, it's kind of a lame argument to say that someone should keep his mouth shut about an evil demagogue until election day. If you oppose Trump and what he stands for, you should be talking about that shit every day.

Are all of these reviews going to embarrassingly ape the breathless and zany style of the show? Because that's gonna get exhausting real quick.

Mailboxes drip like lampposts in the twisted birth canal of the coliseum,
Rimjob fairy teapots mask the temper tantrum,
O say can you see'um?
Stuffed cabbage is the darling of the laundromat,
The mouse with the overbite
explained how the rabbits were ensnared,
And the skinny skanny self thrashed
the apothecary diplomat
inside…

That version is "beehhhter, much beeehhhhhhhter."

Sometimes they do work in a really cute bakery or something, but they can still afford a sweet artist's loft in Manhattan. Big tippers at the bakery, I guess.

Oh, weird, it takes place in a tropical paradise and appears to have required one hour of work per day from its stars.

Just watched the first couple episodes. I hope Ana Gasteyer appears far less frequently going forward, but I have a bad feeling she's a regular. Christ, the show is already bonkers enough; take it down a notch, Ana.

You made it about a minute longer than I did. I hope this doesn't turn into a thing like Charlie Sheen where we all encourage his public mental unraveling until the point where it's clearly not fun anymore.

For sure, people who victimize others because they can't control their base urges are understandably reviled, and doubly so if the victims are children. But it's a shame that it's an area of psychology and criminology where there is no gray area, and seemingly no attempt to even think about gray area, as far as the…

I feel that way about Fruitvale Station. I know I'd think it's a good movie, but I also live in a place where very similar shit is in the news quite often, and it's depressing, and I tend to seek entertainment that takes me out of that.

Great movie. Tough to watch twice. It really explores the complexity of pedophilia, which is long overdue for a closer examination. We can't hope to properly address a problem if 99% of the population can't move past the "kill them all" mindset.