Fake news! Failing show SNL is in bed w lying media in corrupt attempt to delegitimize me against the will of the AMERICAN PEOPLE. MAGA!!

This guy DrFlimFlam is a huge loser and everybody knows it! Is he even FROM Kalimdor? I heard he moved here from Pandaria owing tens of thousands of gold to Goblin-Sachs.

I could shoot a goblin right in downtown Orgrimmar and the orcs and trolls would still support me.

I've had dinner with doctor Banner several times at various awards ceremonies (awards for me, not him) and while he's definitely a quality person, I'm not sure he's as smart as people say he is.

This guy TodayYourLove TomorrowTheWorld is a huge loser, and everybody knows it. I mean, how many words do you need in your name? He's obviously trying to distract people from asking too many questions about him.

I've met Santa Claus many times, he's a big supporter. When I was thinking about running for President, I called him right away. This was last spring so he was at his place on the Hamptons, not his house up north. But he thought it was a great idea.

This guy Muwarr90 is a huge loser and everybody knows it. What kind of name is that anyway? Is it a cat noise?

Where's Obama on this? As usual, he has nothing to say about an issue that is critical to National Security.

That's right! All of my showers are golden!

I've been around. Less is more.

Obama won't drink his own urine because he's a Kenyan Muslim, and it's against his weird alien belief system.

Harrison Ford? What kind of name is Harrison anyway? Can we be honest about that - it's a fruity name and it's always been a fruity name. When he lived in my building, I told him "You should have changed your name to something masculine like Rock Hudson."

This guy Liberal Media Bias is a huge loser and everybody knows it. One of the worst commenters in history. Frankly, I don't know what's going on with this guy, it's all very suspicious. He's apologized to me privately on several occasions.

Martin Shkreli is a huge genius. I've seen him negotiate with some of the sickest, most pathetically needy people in the entire world without blinking. Literally, this guy never blinks, he's a huge genius.

Because of the equal-time laws - if they let me host then they have to let Clintron2000 host, and the last time they did that half the audience ended up dead.

Listen, check any poll - rapists, murderers, and drug mules love me. I employ thousands of them, and they know I create jobs. And they love me because they know I tell the truth - you think they don't know they're rapists?

“careful consideration of varying viewpoints on all sides of the issue,”

Shrugging is for losers, I've never shrugged in my life.

It's so simple - the only possible explanation is that the Obama administration, for some reason that we're not going to get into just yet, doesn't WANT to solve this problem.

When I was on the Howard Stern show, Steve-O did a stunt where he lit my hair on fire and then used the super-heated flame that comes from the high magnesium content there to engrave "Make America Great" into a sheet of solid steel. I didn't see the point, but I heard it was the highest rated show that Howard TV ever…