Your level-headed sanity doesn’t generate page-views, which makes you a monster who hates children.

Ooof. Pass. Hard pass.

Where does this fall on the Terms of Endearment/Beaches/Steel Magnolia spectrum?

Yup. But it certainly wouldn’t be the first time.

No no, you’re a defenseless little baby right up until the point when you turn 18, unless of course you’re a minority and being charged with a crime.

This whole situation is fucked up, but the use of the phrase “desirable children” in the Times article, strikes me as being off. Wouldn’t teenagers or young adults been better terms? Just wondering...

He was a notorious cheater, to the point he had a freaking secret child. I really can’t bring myself to care if Gwen cheated on him before the divorce. And I have no idea who he is/what he does outside of being Gwen Stefani’s husband, and I'm not even a Gwen Stefani fan. He's an irrelevant trash bag

I agree with you, and I think her heavy makeup with it gives her the most expressionless face ever. When I watch her on the Voice I feel like I’m watching a puppet, where the only way you understand intent is from vocal inflections (which are all weirdly peppy teenage girl). Why anyone would pick her as their coach…

Don’t Speak.

You know what Nancy Grace won’t be cooking? Souffle´s.

I’m mesmerised by Stefani’s plastic surgery. Watching her speak is bizarre.

The left is the after. I know! How is that “lift”?

After I processed that they were supposed to be before and after cheeks, I still couldn’t quite figure out which was before and which was after (I know bigger is the thing now, but the one on the right definitely looks lifted compared to Left Cheek).

I mean, people can want whatever kind of butt they want, but take it from a lady with a giant booty: You will never find properly fitting pants again. Ever. In your life. Or you might, but they’ll cost you a kidney.

Because some women 1) don’t want to work for a better butt and 2) want a bubble butt. Squats can’t make a flat ass a bubble butt, no matter how hard you work out. What will happen is the butt will lift and tighten, so you’ll have SOMEthing back there but it won’t look like Kim Kardashian’s ass, aka a giant tumor.…

The “sergeon” had to put his cup somewhere.

I have a butt like that, with more cellulite. I find it disgraceful, but if it’s the new cool, I’m all for it.

From the description on Groupon:

Now this whole story makes sense.