trudat5
TruDat
trudat5

Friendship is best enjoyed without much analysis. If you have to think about the friendship, find another friend. 

Malt liquor is alcohol like masturbating is sex. 

Some of them aren’t even alcohol. They are malt liquor.

Assume that everything an employer tells you is a lie:

They ROYALTY of pastries. No need to gender it. 

The IRS has three methods of communicating: 1.) Mail 2.) Certified mail 3.) Seizing your assets.

You do you...

No sex, no alcohol, no drugs, no car. It is hardly surprising that they are obsessed with death. If you take those away from me, I’d want to die too.

Take a tablespoon of peanut butter and rub it in your hair. Now, use a paper towel to clean that peanut butter out of your hair.

When in doubt, it’s a scam. You don’t have to know why or how.

I like to store my dryer lint next to some oily rags by a heat source. 

It tastes like Bruce Springsteen’s dick after he plays “Born in the USA”.

What’s your secret to a really amazing aspic?

I’ll wager that somewhere on TikTok there is a video promoting all ten of these as “Easy Home Remedies That You Should Be Using Today!”

On behalf of my three dogs, “Not a chance...”

If you weren’t looking down at your feet, you would trip over the bar that Joe Rogan sets for podcast quality.

Oh, dairy. Right. For a moment, I was thinking that there was some kind of mystery meat in peanut butter cups.

God cares about what you eat on Friday for one month a year!

I prefer desk cocaine. 

AKA “Scooby Snacks” because they are usually created when very high.