If you weren’t looking down at your feet, you would trip over the bar that Joe Rogan sets for podcast quality.

Here’s some rope.

Even if he wrote that himself, it would come off as bizarre and disturbing. 

Oh, dairy. Right. For a moment, I was thinking that there was some kind of mystery meat in peanut butter cups.

The kiddie pool one really needs the “Flashdance (What a feeling!)“ song playing in the background.

Too many drag queen story times and not enough financial analysis!

The War on Satanism is real!

Luckily, Florida has toughened up their voter id laws!

I just got out of the pool!

God cares about what you eat on Friday for one month a year!

Why even bother with elections? Let’s just save ourselves the Sturm und Drang and let corporations bid for control of everything.

I prefer desk cocaine. 

AKA “Scooby Snacks” because they are usually created when very high.

I hate to break it to the kiddos, but my high school girlfriend in 1985 use to put Carmex under her eyes claiming a quick rush.

The Last of Us is real!

The fine for gross violations of HIPAA should all but put a company out of business and send the execs to jail.

Alien: YA Edition

If the mobile networks go down, your landline will probably be worthless because all other infrastructure will also be offline. Maybe you can call your grandmother on her landline and say goodbye.

The funeral home industry made sure that this technology only became viable when they were cut in on the deal.

Trump was profiting off his own false information as well.