My two hotel hacks:

First, you should always be looking for your next job. Employers offer no job security today. You could be made redundant at any time, so you need to always be working on that next move.

I dated a Playboy model and minor TV celebrity. They key was that I treated her like a normal human being. I treated her the same way I would have treated anyone I had ever dated. She loved that it made her feel normal and appreciated as a person. She was continually fawned over by guys that were completely…

That line-up looks remarkably uninteresting. Is that just because it is summer or does Paramount really have that little content?

The fact that Subway has not responded to this with the results of their routine and regular DNA testing of the fish that they buy BEFORE it is processed speaks volumes.

Those look like rejects from the McRib manufacturing line. 

Buy it for the land and the liquor license. The restaurant itself has zero value. It's more dive bar than restaurant. 

I imagine that I am a sniper and I'm sighting in on the things or people that were a problem during my day. I'm usually sound asleep before I get to the 2nd or 3rd person.

When it snows, you shovel the path to the grill THEN the sidewalk.

Other symptoms are: Calling yourself an “influencer”, claiming that you “have a YouTube channel”, or thinking that the number of "followers" you have is a relevant measure of your worth. 

Don’t sign non-compete unless you are getting something to justify it. It limits your career/job options, so you deserve to get paid for signing one.

Different than a NDA.

Salt Bae should be "cut for time" in reality.

She spews a lot of stupidity but I find the fire Fauci hashtag particularly offensive.

I’ll take “things an unaware racist says” for $500...

Her weight was never the real problem...

In professional wrestling, the management is crooked and the fighting is faked. In UFC, the management is crooked, but the fighting is real.

Yeah, you don’t want your daughter to have her key, early sexual experiences in a used Jetta, right?

I buy the $5-10 knock-off Ray Bans on Amazon a half-dozen at a time. I scatter them around my vehicles, home, office and a have another pair at the ready when I lose or damage a pair.

I buy the $5-10 knock-off Ray Bans on Amazon a half-dozen at a time. I scatter them around my vehicles, home, office…

I think their definition of “mom friends” is different than mine.

The bartender was wrong. If you ask for a “martini”, he should make you a martini.