So, if South Carolina secedes to spend more time with its Id, do we get to call it a poor man’s Ruritania, a poor man’s Duchy of Fenwick, or just plain Royston Vasey?

The school system failed you insofar as it never taught you to flush yourself away.

And yet it got enough rise out of you

Oh goddammit. I loved “Ren & Stimpy.”

Roseanne Barr is a poignant reminder of why some people should die at the peak of their careers.

He manages to be blind and blithe at the same time. Which, if nothing else, makes for a nice alliteration.

That torrent of fatuous nonsense just made you look even more foolish.

You mean illuminating an unsupported narrative with a real experience?

I know my experience is very subjective

[Looks over the Zack Snyder oeuvre, such as it is.]

[Looks over the Zack Snyder oeuvre, such as it is.]

It sounds like you’re about to go the full Brundlefly on me...

Billions of flies like shit - ergo, shit is great? Because that’s your logic here.

On the school walkout: “I told my kids on the school walkout: ‘I love you, but if you walk out that school, walk out my house.’ ”

It’s not underwear. Look at the trunks worn by Victorian strongmen, and, to this day, by Cumberland wrestlers:

This isn’t just an American phenomenon. I watched Being Human liquefy into pure shit during its third series. Don’t get me started on what followed.

It depends on whether the cultural appropriation is a loan or a mugging.

Here’s the thing about jokes. They only work when they’re aiming up.

I really wish people would realise that Doctor Who’s resurrection at the hands of RTD was in fact something of a Faustian pact. It continues to this day in the form of Chibbers taking over.

In Britain, he’d have ended up with a traffic cone on his head.