Tit haikus are unique when compared to regular haikus b/c they have no meter requirements [citation needed]

I'm not sure who's going to have the last laugh in this situation, but I feel like it won't be contest sponsors ASK4 Entertainment.

I was ready to shrug this whole thing off in an exemplification of capitalist naïveté, but then I realized that I live in a nearby house.

I bet those final three lines were enormously satisfying to think up and then type.

Well… Max has gotta be sleeping with someone. He went from schlub to swaggering sage, and I doubt he was bad at his job at the time he visited Montauk; something else has perked him up. Anyone seen Margaret recently? Still on a spa trip? Hmm. I'm no stocky black detective, but someone might want to check up on Max's…

Scotty's just been a Guilt Phantom for the past couple of episodes; Noah, distracted, ran him down while racing to snag some cover-up bagels. Scotty survived, and managed to crawl to the side of the road. Unfortunately, Alison can't see beyond her own problems & ran over Scotty's windpipe on her bicycle, consumed as…

Campbell Scott was terrific on the high stakes legal disasterpiece Damages, but by that point in the show's run, I was also not surprised at all by how thoroughly his performance was squandered by the show's batshit ridiculous writing. In a real Damages level twist-a-roo, though, I think the Peter Sarsgaard season of T…

Alternately, the punchline of this skit:

Great job, DeviantArt.

Don't worry! We're in no hurry.

Probably been mentioned, but: doesn't she have manic depressive disorder, or bi-polar disorder, or something else of that nature both horrible and publicly acknowledged? I listened to Michael Chabon's audiobook reading of Michael Chabon's Michael Chabon — or whatever his autobiography was called — and there was a…

The A.V. Club
[via Gawker]
[so gradually…]

I'm not looking forward to living in a Craigless late night reality, but I am looking forward to John Mayer's double duty as the Kevin Eubanks of his guest stint. Right before every commercial break: a smash cut to Mayer ripping a "delicious solo" on the other side of the room. The camera sloowly zooooms oooouuuuut.

That works really well in a Ron Howard voice!

I'll rewatch that part when I get home tonight — I remember him getting irritated about his lack of bagel prospects, but not with enough specificity to present a different interpretation of it off the top of my head. That description doesn't strike me as analogous to Kevin's mindset regarding the departure (he's not a…

The crux of the show is the way that people deal with trauma; there is also a lot of ambiguous imagery. Things appear, and are not explained. Metaphors, though? A metaphor is like a connection, a bridge. With a metaphor, you're saying "this thing is also this other thing". They are unrelated things, but they are…

Counterpoint: zeroing in on the plastic Baby Jesus works as a metaphor for just about everything wrong with critical analysis of The Leftovers: the inane preoccupation with metaphors.

Based on that one thing, Bravo Canada sounds all kinds of different from Ordinary Bravo.

Yeah, I agree with you that the aesthetic here clicks right away. I think that "Lucas … would probably have all of the lights on" is the perfect packed-up riff about Prequel Problems, and you got a good laugh out of me. I remember sitting through that last revengy one baffled by how ugly and boring everything looked.

Damages had some great performances, but the writing suggested that two 17 year olds went through about $400 of cocaine in an evening and banged out their scripts for a full season of cable TV before going to school. They'd take turns sitting at a desktop computer, and they'd switch shirts whenever they rotated out of…