What?

What?

Yeah, this new columnist...not so good. I was first turned off by the pseudo-superior tone with which he treated the article. Because you know what? Football isn't my thing either. But I don't consider people who watch football to be barely above the average troglodyte.

First thought: give me those gloves.

FMAILY VALUS THO

She...probably should've stuck to modeling.

My dog doesn't interrupt me. She just sits on her spot as I do my Cardio Barre and looks at me like, "LOL BITCH PLEASE." It's the same look she gives me when I try to start running during our walks.

I had something resembling this in high school. This is the first time I've seen it with a name. Started the way lots of eating disorders do: I casually exercised more (in a healthy way) and loved the response I got about the weight I lost (about ten pounds...not much since I was already pretty active) and the…

You're right. She did need help. She needed her kids removed from her by an agency who knew how to raise them without killing them.

An abuser she keeps letting around her kids. She may not be inflicting the injuries directly, but her not seeking care for those injuries — whoever they were inflicted by — is unconscionable.

I understand that domestic violence is a complex, multi-dimensional issue, but I just have a hard time understanding how you can see that your own child is suffering and in need of medical attention, and you refuse to seek that care because you're afraid that somebody more capable of raising your kid might intervene.

But while we're talking about hiccups in parenting, when I was an infant I had a strawberry patch on my forehead (a cluster of blood vessels that create the skin to become red and swollen). It's just a thing that babies get sometimes. Anyway, my mom used to have to field many side-eyes from other parents who suspected…

A one-time accidental poisoning is quite different than BURN MARKS AND REAPPEARING INJURIES.

I don't really think it's a "privilege" thing as much as it is a "common goddamn decency" thing.

If you're afraid you're doing something that's going to get your kids taken away from you, then you should probably have your kids taken away from you.

I used to loathe her in her Candy days. Just another Britney knockoff who was sure as hell NO BRITNEY, I thought.

Yep, totes a thing. And then Girl #1 usually hands him over to Girl #2. Unless, of course, she's awesome, in which case she says, "Yeah, we're almost done talking so just give us a few more seconds and he'll be all yours kthxbai."

The number one rule in a beauty competition — and in life, if you're me — is to stand the fuck out in a way that suits and flatters you. She nailed it.

It doesn't even look like tie-dye. It looks like it was made with Crayola markers. The 12-pack kind that only offers the basic colors.

The red sash really MAKES IT. Like MAKES IT and never lets you forget.