King Lear dies?! Spoiler that shit!

No matter what agencies try to do to keep NFL teams from acting stupid during the draft, it’s more or less impossible.

I’m sure he’ll be at least as successful as former Rep. Tom Osborne, R-Nebraska. 

The Staples by my house has a huge poster of a BlackBerry on its exterior wall. Among other high-tech items for sale within, like pencils and stickie notes.

LEGO Batman did it.

See, sports rhymes with shorts, and E is like eat, so. 

Good, that means Doc Brown will not have aged much between movies, since one of them takes place just days after the other.

If you’re super good at jumping rope, try double-unders (swing the rope so fast it goes around your body twice per jump). As a younger man I could do up to 10 in a row, but at this point I doubt I can. A good way to start is to throw in one DU in the middle of regular jumps, then work your way up to doing them…

Today I learned that kickers don’t wear cups.

Hanging around long past his usefulness? What is this guy, a baby boomer in middle management?

Let’s just drop that line for any scenario. There are people literally in prison who say “and I turned out all right.”

The dude just cut a record! In 2018! Do you want to see it? You know you do!

Move to L.A. and you can vote for her.

I rarely get in car accidents, so why should I stop at red lights? It might or might not work at preventing accidents anyway. I do my own research. I’m not forcing everyone to run red lights. If it makes you feel better to stop at red lights, then that’s what you should do. But don’t force me to stop.

I mean, at least they didn’t have to see Batman’s dick.

So did Venom eat that dude or not?

The Coen Brothers! Are they gonna hurt us?

I will confirm this as I was at the game last night and had never seen Max Muncy’s face before in my life. You know, a hardcore Dodgers fan.

One time I wrote a letter agreeing with one of his columns and got excited a few weeks later when a similar letter appeared, because the first few words made me think they’d printed mine. #SIglorydays

Heart rate 120 over 86