Vorp was busy.

I literally just paid a dude $175 to remove bees from my water meter box yesterday. Put an ad on craigslist saying you will remove bee infestations for $50 and you’ll get your bees.

Right? I’ve known this since 2004.

I have no love for the dick pic, but this post is basically Burneko being your grandpa shouting at the TV, “The commercials don’t even try to tell you if the product is any good or not!” The message of the dick pic is not its content (i.e., what the picture shows). It’s basically saying “I am the kind of person who…

Shade court is back in session!

This is probably what was playing Steve Harwell's mind when his son died at age six months. And yes, this GJI just got real.

Add "clever montage videos" to the list of things Slate can't do right.

Just power tripping, either on the celeb or the PR flack’s part. Stuff like this happens with VIP security too: “No one comes within ten feet who has not been searched,” garbage like that.

That could have been a real-life slap. Margulies looked like she was really in pain. But that would mean Baranski really wanted to slap her hard too, and I can’t believe I’m using my brain cells on this honestly

So, a more precise headline that contains no spoilers is a bad choice because it would generate more traffic.

Man falls down

This reminds me of how I bought the wrong translation of Crime and Punishment in high school. I didn’t understand why our vocabulary assignment included the word “garret,” because my translation said Raskolnikov lived “in a closet just under the roof” of a large house.

Get back in the pit where you belong, french horn player.

Sorry, the answer is Sting playing a hurdy-gurdy

This article definitely reminded me of The Feminine Mystique, but I think the difference is all this popular media is wallowing in and even celebrating the misery part of parenting in a way that our popular media has not done before. And that emphasis on the misery is making it a leading characteristic of parenthood…

Pentatonix’s entire schtick is being five a capella robots. So in other words, agreed.

Real talk: can anyone tell such groups apart?

My boss is sooo into the eagle cam. I can’t wait to tell her this delightfully horrifying news.

Pfft. Dismissing fad diets is just a diet fad. My fad diet worked for [insert celebrity] so it’s legit.

She makes his hands look small.