When dealing with someone incapable of coherent speech, I try to think of the most coherent thought related to the topic. This is the only thing that approaches sensical. 

It’s possible (though not likely) that he is talking about laws that prohibit the use of preemptive control burns that get rid of brush. Forest fires are part of nature, but laws that prohibit these burns result in massive amounts of brush building up which is fuel for forest fires. If there were more small fires,…

Do you have a source?

My brother bought a chair from Bob’s and then immediately got bedbugs.  Bob’s claimed that the two events were not related and refused to take back the chair because the chair was in a bedbug infested apartment. So now I don’t shop at Bob’s or see my brother. 

Connecticut pizza is the best. Chicago deep dish “pizza” is not pizza. It’s a casserole. It’s a fucking awesome casserole, but it’s not pizza. 

My friend worked at the Potbelly on Wacker Drive about 15 years ago. Richard Dent walked in, ordered a sandwich, and then came to my friend’s register. After being asked if he could get anything else for him, Dent pointed at the freshly baked cookies that were coming out of the oven via coneyor belt and said “COOKIE.”…

After spending several months together, it was inevitable that their cycles would align 

Lots of players have their OPS jump over a hundred points overnight.  Like when Barry Bonds went from 1.127 to 1.379 between 2000 and 2001.  I wonder what happened to him that caused such a dramatic rise in productivity. 

I’m sure it was just hard work and perseverance that got his OPS from 799 to over 1000 in less than two years.  

The Twins were not why Ortiz was bad. The question that you should ask is how a sub .200 hitter started putting up Hall of Famer numbers pretty much overnight after being released by the Twins.

Watermelon’s best use is smashing.  Watermelon sucks

don’t forget David Ortiz*

Yeah that’s my bad. It was 24-3 at halftime 

It looks like the kind of tackling that results when the defensive player incorrectly predicted how the offensive player would move. Which is (one of the reasons) why this helmet rule is so dumb.

How long do the goats get to be free before I can catch one and make it my dinner?

The headline of this blog might be the GOAT

The first one seems legit as an unnecessary roughness call seeing as the ball carrier was essentially already tackled and on the ground and the defensive player went helmet to helmet. The third one however...that one seems pretty ticky tack. 

Thompson, you better shut the fuck up or meet me in Temecula

Gett was bought by Juno